Tuesday 12 June 2012

Debbie does ...: Oh lala going all E on your arses

Debbie does ...: Oh lala going all E on your arses: So, its been a while eh.  Gee whizz quite a bit has happened.  I know I never spoke about the break in I had.  And what fun I had after.  Ok...

Oh lala going all E on your arses

So, its been a while eh.  Gee whizz quite a bit has happened.  I know I never spoke about the break in I had.  And what fun I had after.  Ok .. so about 2 weeks ago.... maybe 3..... don't shoot me for not having the right timeline for heavens sake, anyhow, some bloody bergie... and I KNOW it was a bergie cos as I moved my vehicle out of the garage, I saw 2 of the bergies and I know they saw my bike as they walked past the garage as I shut it while driving away.  I got home from work, pushed the button....the garage opens and the garage looks like its relieved of some of its contents.... Right off the bat I can see my bicycle is gone... I call the cops, phone the insurance get it all sorted.  I got paid out for my bicycle so I went and got myself an eBike.  Now this is a battery operated bike that has pedals.  This allows for you to ride the roads without a licence. OMG I look like a Bat outa Hell... Thanks Meatloaf.. pffffft... Anyway, I feel like a superstar riding my bike... trust me... everyone stares.... Not quite sure if they cant believe what they see.. this big arse and 2 wheels just going by so quietly... (oh not THAT quiet) it rattles a bit... or just that it looks like a fun thing to ride.  I see some people standing on the kerb watching and some walking by craning their necks to see me ride my bike.. I know they want it... ooh how they want it... they wanna appropriate it off me again.. Fuck them I say... I got me a motorbike lock for my bicycle... hows that.  Now I need to bling the thing out... wait... first paint it pink.. then bling it out... and then of course I simply have to get the Harley Davidson tassles....

On Saturday, I rode the eBike to Channy at Maniacs.  At Blouberg Road intersection, 2 big hairy bikers (and I call em hairy cos the fuckers laughed at me),were at the robot,  as the robot changed, I flicked my wrist and off the bike went.  The one biker SHOUTS to the other one right next to him.... and  I think for all of Table View to hear...."check out that ***HELP MY TRAP**** What the hell dude??? You DONT have to use pedal power to get this thing going.  Its a mere flick of the wrist to give it vooma.. I GLIDE past in front of them, smile, flip the finger and shout... "its not a Help my trap its an eBike".. and proceed to stop at Battery centre.  Oh shit.  Did I tell you it was my frist ride.  My stop, was an abrupt wobble.  Did those hairy fuckers laugh at me and honk their horns.... pffffft..... Anyway, I did not fall or anything... just wobbled a bit... like a kid learning to cycle... so what...anyway as far as I was concerned, there was no dismount there so it was good.  Must say... its been awesome riding this bike... Its my mode of transport from now on....

Anyway on Saturday night... I was suppose to go to a braai at Dawns place.  I cancelled as I was not looking that hot.  My eye was a bit faulty and one never goes out unless one looks sexy right.  As I was watching telly, I saw a blue light flash in my dinning room.  I got up to go look and saw the police van stop infront of my place.  I was like.. Oh my hat,... are they here to raid my brothel again... anyway... they just stood on idle for a while then left.  Right after they left, 3 armed response vehicles came in at a speed and I was like Whoah something is going down here.  I then saw them go to all the vehicles opposite and look into them.  I then realised we had some thieves pay my neighbours a visit.  They broke into the cars opposite us.  So, I called both neighbours whose cars were broken into, to get them outside to speak to the police (who had come back) with a thief locked in the back of the van and a young white girl, who was the driver of the getaway vehicle.  Do you believe this shit!!!. Of course, dear Shane went off on the chicks arse.  I must say I understand her getting pissed off but I saw them Police backing off.... I think they were worried that dear ole Shane was the mafiosa.....The mama Don... Teressa from Real housewives of Jersey have NOTHING on my Shane... NOTHING.

I need to say this though.  I am hugely impressed by the SAPS in Table View and Star armed response as they apprehended the crooks so damn fast they didnt even have time to get their hands on tic.  And they found the stolen goods in Shawns house.  NO BIG SURPRISE there I say.. Ooooh wait.. hahahahaha we all say that......

Well, thats a bit a drama for now..  chat to you all real soon...