Brothels

Well now, you know that expression that you can never have too many friends....Its a lie.  Apparently you can!! And it can lead to all kinds of things.  On Friday afternoon, Megan, Sasha, the Rattex Queen, Toya and myself were at my house.  I had phoned the Gas Shoppe to bring me gas as the stove had died.  While we were waiting for the gas man, Megan sees a guy looking over our wall.  She shows him some serious sign language about him going around to the front of the house.  I was busy making coffee and stepped out of the kitchen to go the front door to tell the guy to come there.  As I open the door there is another guy standing at my front door.  I smile and say ooooh helllooooo you must be the gas guys.  The guy says no... he is SAPS.  So we are all laughing and smiling and not believing a word cos after all we are waiting for the gas guy right.....Anyway, the next minute, there is another guy so now we have 3 guys and they are in our house and laughing with us etc etc.  Eventually they tell us, that they are following up an anonymous complaint that my house is a brothel/strip club.  I was like *hell yeah, see that woman.... (the Rattex Queen aka my mother) she is my main money spinner.* I then point to Toya who is innocently standing doing the ironing and I say *you see her... she is my 2nd biggest money spinner*... and we are all laughing.  I still tell the Police that its a pity they cant see snap crackle and pop in action... (thats Jan, Rattex Queen and Nazek).... Big joke....

But now honestly, we are all saying that they are joking and we really do not believe them cos they are laughing with us... until ..... the one shows me an anonymous email they received.   It was in the lines of  *lots of vehicle movement at ............................ *  What the fuck???? I have friends... and I am fortunate to have friends but apparently it is burning someone elses arse.

SO, I just want to thank my friends that come and visit... bwhahahahha, cos without you people, no one would have suspected I run a brothel.....LOLOLOLOL....Oooooh and DO NOT FORGET... SATURDAY is Charity Braai day for a friend... Bring Non perishable goods and R50-00 but you can bring more if you want......

Now let this be a lesson, be proud of your friends.  Regardless of who they are and what they do cos you never know, there could be a hooker in each one of us without us even knowing.  We all found that out on Friday...

By the way, if anyone knows anyone that knows someone that does lapband...I am ready.....

Getting over EX's

I was shocked and amazed and totally fucken baffled when I read a friends facebook??  OMG What the hell is this child thinking.  I thought she was over her ex but clearly, the way she is trying to get over him is not working.  Attacking ladies is not even funny to say the least.  I understand that there was a woman that had always been nice to her, with regard to the situation.  The problem however is that she does not know how to treat people that are nice to her.  I think its pretty damn sad that she has to slate and be mean and yes, she is fucken mean when she wants to be,  and then hides it under a veil of *I did not mean it that way, I am just being sarcastic*.... NO you think you are the most intellegent person walking this earth and looking down on others... Your thoughts are very very ugly 99% of the time.  To go on like that on facebook about someone that she is supposedly over, (look at previous posts as well with regard to *what was I thinking*) just goes to show that this girlie has a very very long way to go in growing up actually.  I just get so damn annoyed and it gets my back up, that someone can lie and make it sound good till the people hear the truth.  He might be way younger than her but in actual fact he has acted more mature than her.

Believe it or not....I KNOW her, and I actually keep telling everyone that she is a nice person... THIS is NOT the girl I know...This bitter and totally twisted version is not who she was.  Lets hope the real friend stands up....

She did leave JHB BUT....and here is the kicker..... it was for various reasons and the ex was only ONE of the reasons.  Why oh why oh fucken why does it have to be so bloody horrible...WHY??? I am actually grating my teeth here cos I am gonna go off the deep end.

So, lets hope you all learn that if a man breaks up with you, because you are mean and really rude to him....its normal... Please girls ACT NORMAL thereafter.  All you are doing is showing them and the rest of the world what a twat acts like.....and from you gals, I EXPECT more... Pull yourself towards yourself.

Oh and, please do not write me a long long useless email about how good your are and trying to show that you are better than me....You arent....

French cooking?

Oh boy oh boy oh boy, this title is deceitful, very very deceitful..... You see, the Frenchie has nothing to do with cooking.   The Frenchie is .... well the Frenchie is HOT... More than that I cannot say as my child will slaughter me. Being the Virgin Mary is a difficult road to follow I tell ya.  Try as I might I am unable to be THAT good.  I am good though, good at being bad but still good nonetheless....NOT saying anything else with regard to this...hehehehe

On Sat night I wanted to make some lovely pasta.  I did cook it properly, and then I added some tuna and then some feta and of course a lovely white sauce.... The problem arose when I added the sauce and it came out like soup.  Basically it was a pasta soup I made without my knowledge. The rattex queen did not want any, so I ate, cleaned the dishes and the kitchen  (HATE HATE HATE a dirty kitchen) Dont ever want to be like someone I know that when people walk out of their house they always say horrible things cos their house is always dirty.  eeeeuw... but not deviating from the matter here, I put it away as Poncho (my cat) has become a nightmare!!.  On Sunday morning I decided that I was going to turn the soup into a proper sauce.  Anyway, I strained the pasta, and recooked the sauce and then in my INFINITE wisdom, decided to add some funny flippen pesto stuff and who knows what the hell else.  After making the sauce thick and adding it to the pasta, I then tried to feed the gardener....to no avail....I then tried feeding the cat.....to no avail... and then myself....Holy shit the food tasted KAK...I have no clue how I did that, but I did abuse the gardener verbally for not wanting to eat my quality food..  all he kept saying is *eish madam , I did try madam but I ke not eet it... sorry madam*... my cat just turned her nose up.... and me....well I tasted my portion, and well, threw it all in the bin.

They should make a reality show on teaching me how to cook... call it *how not to cook with Debbie* or something like that.  It brings me back to school when my teacher would not taste my cheese souffle.  She said it did not look right and it was black...dammit....by now I should know.... but hey, I am good at some things you know.  Not all bad....

Debbie does ...: Weekend and more

Debbie does ...: Weekend and more: What a move on Friday. Everything was done. Everything is moved out properly, boxed stored etc etc. No fear of anything lost or sold...No...

Debbie does ...: poor victims

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Debbie does ...: Stilettos and Killarney

Debbie does ...: Stilettos and Killarney: Well now well well well, what a day. First we had to go to a Breast Cancer Awareness function that Sasha had organised. I tell you, I cann...

Debbie does ...: Be damned

Debbie does ...: Be damned: I know I have been terrible with the blogging but hey, believe it or not ....I WORK ok.... well, ya I do..... I am going to the Italian cl...

Debbie does ...: Charlies Angels

Debbie does ...: Charlies Angels: Oh what a night we had on Friday. Adam was our Charlie, and Kathy, Alison and myself were the angels. Well now. First off let me just exp...

Debbie does ...: For womens' eyes only

Debbie does ...: For womens' eyes only: Today I have a situation that I simply have to tell you about. Its not going to be long but its sure as shit is hard for me to write. I am...

Debbie does ...: Loving.....IT

Debbie does ...: Loving.....IT: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, what the hell was my problem? I was in Blackberry denial since it has come out. I took one look at the phone and w...

Loving.....IT

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, what the hell was my problem?  I was in Blackberry denial since it has come out.  I took one look at the phone and was like *aaaarg* thats going to be a mission to use.  BIG MISTAKE...BIG BIG BIG mistake.... I eventually got one two days ago...OMG....Yesterday was my first official day on the thing and I just want to warn all my friends and family out there that I took to it like a duck to water... Barbie to Ken,  etc etc.... Never in my wildest dreams did I know it was so damn easy... It has caused a problem though as by the end of the day yesterday my thumb on my left hand was shaking.  I looked at this damn digit and thought what the hell man, but then, really, after thinking and looking at how hard it worked yesterday, I realised...Thumb pump!!! ye...LOL.... You know when guys race big big bikes they get arm pump from grabbing the clutch or brake or whatever, anyway, I got thumb pump...and thats not the only thing thats sore ok.  My lower arm is also hurting...Perhaps I was enjoying it too much but there is always something good to follow somethin like that.  HELL YEA...I then found ALL by myself I might add!!!!!!!.... a Voice message thing... so instead of texting...you leave a voice message.  How damn inventive is that I tell ya.... only problem is my son Aran and some friends do not think its a good idea.  I sent them all voice messages this morning wishing em all a glorious day and hoping to see em soon and they all TEXT me back to kak me out... one exception though is Shantel Rossland...that bitch voiced me back and shat on me..bwhahahaha... no way Shantel, you know I cant take that laying down...lets see who wins this one...lemmie guess...its meeee its meeee....LOL

Racing was great this weekend.  I did not consume copious amounts, I had a headache.  Oh boy, why cant we all always be happy... Shit...I can, I have Xanax...what is my problem??? 

Not much to say except that the kittens are leaving....*sigh* and I know I am gonna miss them but NOT the hayfever that comes with them...I have been itching from head to toe and I am rather glad that Sasha Jamie Hall is still in JHB cos if the kitten came to sleep with her at night she would have convinced G-ran to keep it.  So ya, there is a reason for the cow to be gone for so long...Shall we say in this regard we are thankful perhaps....

Ya we are actually so thank you Clinton for keepin her there.  Never thought I would say that cos we miss her...bwhahhahaha...

Right you lot, I gotta get productive... see ya all soon and remember....VITAMIN C...is good for you...!!!!!!

For womens' eyes only

Today I have a situation that I simply have to tell you about.  Its not going to be long but its sure as shit is hard for me to write.  I am just hoping against all hope that men don't read this..... 'THIS is totally embarrassing.... Yesterday morning while cycling to work...Yes yes yes I do cycle to work on the odd occasion (trying to get slim ya know) ..Oh my word I feel totally embarrassed about this but I know I have to warn women about the hazards of the.......panty liner...Yes, its a hazard, a sore hazard.  

Anyway, while cycling, I could not understand why my coocha was feeling funny. When I pushed down with my left leg, I dunno, it felt kinda weird on my right side of the coocha and vice versa.  Mind you, it was a tingly sensation, perhaps I can invent a bicycle vibrator or something like that...Kidding already geez.... When I went to the ladies at work, I pulled my pants down, and I could not,  for shits or giggles get my knickers down as it was too damn sore.  It was hurting like a bitch.  The problem, I HATE to admit, is that I had the damn panty liner on upside down.  The glue bit...and for the purpose of this blog I will say they use superglue on that damn thing.... was stuck to my coocha....It was the most painful bikini wax in life I recon.... but lets not go there...THAT is a complete different story OMG.

So, I recon I need to get my eyes tested ..... and then maybe shit like this wont happen to me.

The lesson here ladies.....MAKE DAMN SURE YOU put the glue on the right side ok, NOT on your coocha!!!!!!

Charlies Angels

Oh what a night we had on Friday.  Adam was our Charlie, and Kathy, Alison and myself were the angels.  Well now.  First off let me just explain to you all that Elvis Presley IS alive and is living happily in Table View.  I know this cos I saw him on Friday night.  He performs at the Italian club as he is a bit low key these days you know.  What an awesome time we had.  Poor Charlie had to dance with all of us, and then of course, Charlie decides that tequila is the order of the night after a couple of bottles of wine....Cant tell you how time flew on Friday night.  Got home and thankfully Sasha was there.  She then drove me to the shop (in my car) and we got some lemon twist and heaven alone knows what else.  Anyway, on Saturday, I went to visit Shelley and Armando and I moaned cos it felt like someone had driven my car.... I was flabbergasted, until of course Sasha filled me in.  What a night.  I must have danced my arse off cos on Saturday I could not move, was in zombie mode, and then only on Sunday did my legs hurt.  Yea...those blue suede shoes, and all his other hits.  Elvis still has got it..... Brilliant...

Today I still have a horrible headache..... but I think its related to the weather.  Our weather has gone bonkers on us and its affecting us all.  So much hay-fever and sinus going around.  And apparently when you sneeze its like an orgasm.  If that is the case, then I am permanently orgasming as I have bad bad bad hay-fever all the time.

This damn spell check on this thing.  I look at words and to me they seem wrong.  I am not an *Oxford* dictionary but...I am also not *how to spell 101 for dummys* type of gal.  I used to be an awesome speller at school (don't ask how I got that right) but this damn spell check has me all wrong.  At least its not a GPS that keeps telling me to Listen....next time listen...

Aaaah well modern technology.  Who knows I might even go blackberry one day... Imagine that!!!

Be damned

I know I have been terrible with the blogging but hey, believe it or not ....I WORK ok.... well, ya I do.....

I am going to the Italian club tonight with some friends.  This can be rather entertaining I'd say. Last week it was a Frenchie,... who knows maybe I go Italian this week.  Aye man I lika da Guidos man!!!  Still have those lovely smelling condoms and still living in hope.  Bwhahahaha.  No wait I must stop that shit I tell ya.

Anyway, Sasha has now told us that she is moving to JHB.  Its official.  We all have to let go of those damn apron strings we have attached to her.  Its going to be difficult but she will be a mere phone call away.  We all just have to keep saying that to ourselves to make it easier.  Ya right... Come the day she leaves there will be a shit load of Capetonians sobbing their hearts out.  I recon we should get twin saver tissues to give us a good offer on tissues as they will be making a lot of money on that.  Do not know how Annie is going to cope. Mind you Anne, I have Xanax, and it does help you know..

Oooooh Mr, you better take care of her like she deserves.  I know you know that but just had to say it before you get your jocks in a knot ok.  You do know that every argument you have with her, you will be having with all of us right...LOL..omg you dont have to run yet Clinty.... Just dont break her heart my love that is all we can ask..

Gosh, when I think about not having doing the Blog I remember that I have been exercising.. Wait, let me rephrase that, I have been cycling dammit.  Ok so its not long distance, in fact its about 900m maybe a bit more, but hey, thats 900m more than I have ever done so put that in yer pipe and smoke it.  I even had breakfast today.  Forgot the fruit though for 10-00 snack.  Oh well. No no its not that I am TOO exhausted due to the cycle its just....who knows, it just happened.

We have such a blast watching Come Dine with me SA.  There are now 6 of us and we have decided that every Wednesday night, its gonna be pot luck.  We each have to make a pot of food, and no one knows what the other one is cooking.  I am so excited, cos I want to know who is going to eat what I cook.  THAT in itself will be entertaining.... Mind you, my fried egg this morning was not too black at the bottom so there is a chance that its improving.  As long as all the people on Wednesday evening realise that black is my favourite colour when it comes to food.  Oh wait, thats cos I yabba yabba too much and forget to watch the stove.... I think I need a stove that knows when food is cooked and switches itself off.  LOL.. imagine that.  Maybe I should start a Reality show and show people how NOT to cook... cos the way I cook hurts.  I ALWAYS burn dammit..

Ok so I gotta go cos I do have work to do you know .....tsk tsk. But dont forget,... if you know someone that knows someone that does lapband.... LOL  I am there ok sooo damn there....

Enjoy your weekend and for heavens sake, dont say be good, that is simply too damn boring.  Go mad, do something you dont normally do.  Look at me,... I hardly have hair...Oh wait..lets NOT go there...LOL..

BYE YA'LL