Stilettos and Killarney

Well now well well well, what a day.  First we had to go to a Breast Cancer Awareness function that Sasha had organised.  I tell you, I cannot help but be impressed by that girl.  She did an awesome job and of course reduced us to tears cos we are all so damn proud of her.  After sitting on a pink coffin and smoking, it was time to go to Killarney where Aran was having a tough day.  He had to do qualifying and them him and Nicolas had to dash away to go to their Grans cremation service and then come back and race.  Aran placed 3rd both races and he even got rider of the day.... You go my boy.  The problem as we all know is Killarney is Vodka day for me.  Yes yes people, stop moaning ... its once a month that I drink for heavens sake.  Uhm I dunno how to say this actually.  You see there is a problem now as there is caramel vodka and chocolate vodka and then there is Rhiannon vodka.  Ya the last one is lethal cos she loves the shots the most.  Her and hubby Gareth had no qualms is contributing to my inebriated state.  Hell no we were calling for shooters and well, as you can just imagine, my legs start to move.  I think I am like that penguin  *happy feet*..  Shit I can shovel with the rest of you like no ones business man.  I drink, I got the dancing shoes on.... No falling.. that is a no no.  Its not like its something I want to do....it kinda happens but it hasnt for a very long time.

After Killarney, we went to celebrate Gareths' birthday.  Ok so it wasn't up to what other people call a party but really.... drink alot of Vodka and you think you ARE the party. ... Went to collect some wine at my house.... (REALLY.????.. WINE AFTER ALL THAT VODKA!!!!)  (oh please show me an intellegent drunk ok and I will show you a long tit).. anyhow, we went to party with the music blaring and Rhiannon and Gareth taking turns to dance.... ya I THINK she even did the running man...or did he?  NOT to sure.

Here comes the problem.  Those Vases we were drinking out of should not have been so big.  After a while I felt really ill, as in I wanna puke.  I asked Rhiannon to please get me a bucket, (after all I want to be an elegant drunk and puke in a ladylike manner)....I tell you what....it was the most disappointing puke of my life. 4 slap chips is what came out.... 4 fucken slap chips.  Now I ask you with tears in my eyes.... what the hell happened.... I was hoping against all hope that I would get the stomach bug and do the projectile thing but nooooooo..... 4 fucken chips.  Then Rhiannon, who really doesn't know me THAT well just goes down on me!!!! I mean she snuck off to go and pass out and leave me with poor Gareth..  My word. Ok so it was not the bug....., I did puke elegantly.  I walked up straight, went home, slept, drank 2 litres of Cream Soda (green ambulance) went out for dinner and finally 2 days later, I feel better.

poor victims

I do have a sensitivity chip.  When I am upset, you see that I am upset.  When I am happy, you see that I am happy.  Its blatantly obvious to everyone how I am feeling..  I do not walk around like the cat that got the cream and smile all the time, meanwhile feeling bitter towards people or anything .  No that is not me.  My pretentious world ends when my mouth opens or shall I say my eyes open.  You know there are the walking dead amongst us right.  They see, they feel, they eat, they walk however its like they are under a spell..... Stupidly so.  I always ask the questions... Is there 1 devil and 20 angels or is there 1 angel and 20 devils.  Unfortunately it would be more fun if it was the latter, but its not.  Reality does not work that way.  The reason I am saying this is cos I learnt this lesson the hard way.  The very hard way recently.   Have a good read below and you will see the lesson I am trying to teach....LOL

I dont know if you recall the cat Ryk Neetling (the sexi cat,  well ok dammit, I called him the sexi cat cos in cat terms he was hot you know) that had made my lil Poncho pregnant.  Anyhow, the kittens are too damn gorgeous for words.  Ryk Neetling however, has turned out to be Hulk the fucken Horror. (see how feelings change quick!) This damn cat was fighting with Ciska going flippen bos in the garden... and I recon we have ALL heard cats fighting.   I ran and banged on the glass to stop it.  Hulk the fucken Horror lobs off and heads towards the pool.  Unbeknown to Hulk or anyone else for that matter, my innocent lil Poncho was sitting on the pool wall.  As Hulk runs, I hear *plomp* and another *plomp*.  I burst out laughing cos I saw Hulk running with his arse wet and his tail wet.  Ok so it was dark and I did not see Poncho.  Well, I look down..... and here is this pathetic bedraggled lil cat of mine, wet from head to toe.  It stood at the glass sliding door with a glazed look in its eye...with the words WTF clearly visible in the eyeballs.  Ya so Hulk the fucken horror ran poncho off her feet, dumped her in the pool, couldn't stop himself, got his arse in there too and then ran away like the bloody moffie he is.  And then.....late last night....after aaaaaall of this fiasco, the lil shit comes and tries to woo Poncho again!!!  HELL TO THE NO!!! OVER MY DEAD BODY.... MY poor lil Poncho was a victim and now he wants to woo her...... typical male...SO going back to the top....I loved Ryk Neetling initially when I thought he was sexi  (oooh how long ago that seems) I was happily laughing when Hulk fell in the pool and then bitterly disappointed when I saw my lil poncho was in there too.....*what a life we lead*.....

And yes....Poncho is my child!!!! Talking about children.... My son Aran is racing Superbikes this weekend again at Killarney.  Good luck son.  Will only be there later as I am off to a Breast Cancer benefit breakfast that Sasha had put together,  and then will be at the track after 12-00 to support you my boy.  Your fans will be there son....we will be there...

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend.  Lets hope mine will too

Weekend and more

What a move on Friday.  Everything was done.  Everything is moved out properly, boxed stored etc etc.  No fear of anything lost or sold...Not stolen sold ok....Some things have to go... and when we went to visit her what a fabulous visit it was.  My friend is looking better than I have seen her in a good couple of years.  Looking stunning.  She is so happy and upbeat and her faith has returned and her glow has returned.  What really made me happy however was that she said I can get rid of the loser.  The poser.  The user.  The import.  So ring ring home affairs ring ring....As for the women that he is living with, that informed me that she is a Christian.  my friend, I dont know how to tell you this but Christianity is NOT hiding or sticking up for an import that hits women, abuses women and YOU the Chrisitan knows this but prefer to cover his arse, instead of the one that needs it.  Truly, to you Jenny I have to say....you suck, DONT pretend to be something you are not.  Call a spade a spade and then maybe I will have respect for you....right now you are lower than shark shit...Live with it in your dream world.

We all truly had a fabulous laugh with our friend on Saturday.  We were sitting chatting and she called all the girls that are at rehab with her and said  *by the way girls .....this is Debbie*  I thought to myself,...how nice is my friend obviously saying good things about me etc etc... She then tells us to wait as she has to go and fetch something. ....Wait...I am  going about this the wrong way..  When my friend went into rehab we had a long list of supplies.  One of the items she needed was a bible.  This was not a problem as the merry thieving domestic Maria, who seemed to be a Christian had many many bibles.  In fact there was a bible with my sister Shelleys name in it.  (Obviously she appropriated THAT out of my house....oh well)  I then packed the bible for my friend.  When she got to bible studies at rehab and hauled it out...it said THESAURUS dictionary on the side.  Needless to say, the guy doing the bible studies with them at rehab asked if she was boasting about how intellegent she was.  So I sent her with the wrong book but be that as it may, she is now using that to teach the girls a new word every day..  A huge *UP* to you my friend.

The worst part was telling someone that we had moved them lock stock and smoking barrel.  We did however emphasize that she might not have a home but she will always have a roof over her head.  I know she will have time to think about it and realize what we have done is right... Even if we build her a shack.  I mean hey its SA if you dont have a shack with Dstv and a 4x4 then you aint in SA yet.... Come now....

Sasha was as sick as a dog with the tummy bug.  Now I am truly pissed about this.  Last week or the week before Shane and her WHOLE family had it.. I truly hugged and kissed each and every one of em in the hopes.  (I ALWAYS live in hope) of getting it.  I made Sasha rush to my house yesterday, so that I could hug her and kiss her.  Its another day....just another day ... and another attempt...just another attempt to get the bug.  What the Fuck?????   Oh wait.. the Rattex Queen had a suggestion....GO on diet.!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! I think I need to take her for an eye test.  I have been trying but has she NOT seen or been at home to see what some people bring there..  I mean P-U-L-E-A-S-E......And NO I am not a glutton ask those around me... I am just...tired... very tired lately.... Shit, I need to exercise and was going to cycle to work today but when I got to the bicycle there was a problem....Uhm, I think the brakes are stuck on the bike.  I know it was fine but will ask Aran if he can come and fix it for me....I need the exercise...

Oh Gawd, its Monday, I have to finish the VAT.....pffffffffft.   damn I need to work.  After all I get paid to do it....

So ..... just asking if anyone out there knows someone that knows someone that knows someone that does lapband....JUST ASKING.....

Have a flippen fabulous day further folks...I have more to say but as you can see its all jumbled today... Hmmm maybe this is my interpretation of a worded jigsaw puzzle.

the difference between loving someone and being in love

Here is the situation.....  A boy made me very upset not so long ago.  Ok... so he might  have an excuse here or there alright but...he is not fogiven ALL the way, HOWEVER, and here it is.  I think the dude is in love with my friend and he needs to realize it.  Do I send him the memo?  I mean really.  They suit each other, they are in love although they both try and stay away from that, but the fact remains..... its there. They DONT JUST love each other, they are IN LOVE.  If you see them together you cant imagine them apart.  If you see them apart.... you wonder why the other one is not there. THATS what pissed me off the most.  Arg this is getting complicated and its not actually.  Its simple.  Woo her properly and make up ok.  Do it already, the suspense is killing me dammit!!!! I know someone that makes the most beautiful engagement rings.....truly... Its my ex...

Now to some other things happening.  OMG.  The big move without the mama is happening today.  Tomorrow we tell her. It will be ok though, cos she is one strong woman.  Oh you know that bullshit they feed a person when they say..*you are one of the strongest women I know* arg... poppykak man, you are just a strong woman period.  All women are strong.  Besides the one man that gave brith I dont think any man would take on that task.  Moffies the lot of em if you ask me....LOL....Ok geez boys dont go wild on my arse now cos I said that.... I have gay friends and I fucken LOVE em loads ok.  In fact my Peter thought he had divorced me but bugger him.  I    R-E-F-E-U-S-E  to let go of his apron strings.  He spoke to me the other day.  I can tell you this for nothing. I was one happy puppy.  Shit ....it doesnt take much to make me happy does it....LOL

Long drive tomorrow but I am sure its gonna be fun.  I did give her fair warning though that I look vastly different from the last time she had seen me.  Ya, shit....I nearly have no hair.  Lobbed the whole damn lot off now it stands up like an old TV aerial.  You know....a piece to the left and a piece to the right.  In the shape of a V ontop of my face...... hmmmm. methinks I should cut the Dstv and be the walking TV for my mother.

Speaking of.....I need to see if we can get Sasha to do Come dine with me SA.  I recon she will clean house there properly.  She cooked last night and you know what...it was awesome.  She wont allow me in the kitchen but then it could be cos I interfere and then the food comes out different.  I need cooking lessons along with someone that knows someone that knows someone that could do a  lapband procedure.  HELL YEAH!!!!

Tyron came over last night to take a sample of the pool water.  Its got to be clear and sparkly as summer is nearly here and I seriously need a tan.  Brown fat...white fat...you know that stuff right.... Anyway, he is going to assist me in cleaning the pool.  I hate the recession as I no longer have Prince as a poolboy.  Life sucks I tell ya.  Oh yes and Bones is suppose to do the lawn.... All these hard working men *sigh*   Gotta love them.

Baby Jeeps and Big Cockroaches

Holy smokes, I recon we need to move to a place where one doesnt get these flippen huge cockroaches.  I think what happened is some JHB random or better known as a *burger*  brought one of their park town prawns on holiday without realising it, and this thing got horny and shagged our little roaches we used to have in CT.  Or else its someone from Durban that brought one of their goggas here. Either way Johannesburg or Durban, someone brought some horny large pestilence from their hometown  I jest not. These cockroaches FLY my friend... they fly ooohhh how they fly.  I am scared of the damn thing man.  Bianca was screaming like a bitch not so long ago cos this thing flew into my room like a bat outa hell.... If I did not duck it would have flown into me.  Then I started screaming.  Its got no control over its flying skills.  Or else it does it on purpose.  It doesnt just stop dammit. and judging by the size, given a couple of years these things are gonna start eating us man. Right now though they are aiming to keep us under control.....

Last night, after we put the light out, Sasha and I fell asleep and you know when you lay on your arm it gets pins and needles.  I had what I THOUGHT was pins and needles.  HOWEVER I could NOT understand why I had pins and needles on the top of my hand only.  I moved my hand to turn on the bedside light and well... the pins and needles left my hand.  When the light went on there was this huge mother of  roach right there.  Well now,  that we did not scream was a miracle.  I threw the pillow, and of course the roach was happy cos it didnt have to fly.  The thing probably thought it was on Zim Airways or something.  I jumped out of bed and killed it... It splatters alot ok...A LOT!!!....It is difficult to fall asleep after such a traumatic experience.  I am surprised that I did not grab the Xanax....

Then Shelley arrives this morning and she tells us that she had a dream that her Jeep had shrunk.  She was pretty upset cos it shrunk to the size of those cars that kids ride.  What pissed her off the most was that the lights were so damn low.  I dont know why its a problem for her though, cos she is pretty damn short and that would be abour the right size vehicle for her to drive.  I dunno I think being short is now affecting her mind.

Talking about minds.  wait for this.  The Rattex Queen aka G-ran aka Mom etc etc, tried to call her friend Naziek yesterday.  Sasha was sitting watching her.  She picks up and dials Nazieks number, puts the instrument to her ear, waits and then pronounces to Sasha that the phone is dead again.  Once she looked at the *phone* she realised it was actually the remote control for the TV.  Aaaah at least she laughs with us when we laugh.  Sasha was rolling on the floor she was laughing so damn much.  G-ran I recon must have been a close second.

Shit.....I gotta do the VAT...

Oh help me ...

Just dropped in to say.... THERE IS NO WAY on Gods green earth I am going to be able to blog today due to a hangover.  Eeeeuw its horrible.  

Do I or dont I

Uhm hello after a couple of 3year old brandys I DOUBT whether I should send a drunk blog.... so excuse the errors ok.  I am going backwards and forwards to correct it but soon my eyes will go small and well, then its gonna be bad.  I have just come home from a braai at Bones house to say goodbye to Rob the camel man.  Unfortunately Bones started gving me brandy and well....the rest is history.   Think about this shit...I had a friend put in rehab due to alcohol and here I am doing what people do when there is a braai going and the booze is flowing..  Weak I know but ..... I have an excuse (dont we all acutally)... wait let me light a ciggy (another STERLING HABIT) before I resume.  Right, ciggy lit here we go.

NO DRAMA and it was weekend.  What is happening people..... Kidding...Hnag on ....gonna get an ashtray....Oh and change channels for a friend parking off in the lounge....It has NOT been drama free at all.  You see, I get calls and sms from various people with regard to a hectic situation.  There are a couple of us involved in all of this with regard to sorting out problems for a very close friend.  You then get obnoxious people that have mean and nasty things to say with regard to that person and well it actually pisses us all off.  If you have nothing to say that you have no facts about then dont open your weak mouth cos people in glass houses should not throw stones.  My advice to all....if you say something to say have someone to back you up on what you are saying or shut the fuck up....or wear a pink flower in your hair cos it makes you look hot....

Oh I had my hair lobbed off....real short due to bleach and a bad hairdresser.  OMG I think I look like a man but apparently not... however, I think they say that cos they are pretty scared that I have not taken my Xanax and will go off and moer them or something....who knows....

Well as a pissed individual, I dont know how I am gonna feel reading this blog tomorrow.  I might even answer myself and say what the hell...doubt it....

Sasha or Trevor better make me that coffee now...or else........ love ya all and sleep welll

Pussy galore

Oh my word, my lil Princess Poncho and 3 beautiful kittens....and YES YES YES the Ryk Neethling of cats is the kittens daddy.. Gotta say I am absolutely pleased beyond belief because of that.  At least now I know they will be gorgeous cats.  So now, with Ciska, Ponco, Ryk Neethling (although he is only hanging around outside) and the 3 cute lil kittens I have a full house.  I need to take time out to negotiate with Ryk about his paternal duties and of course find out whether he will be supporting his offspring.  You know, even in the animal world we have problems with the men.  I think women should change..... I think we should all (women that is) carry a club, if you see a nice man, lob him over the head with it, drag the bastard home, and well, use him proper.  Make sure he goes to work and supports the family, and when he comes home he must be ready to have a conversation with you about what YOU want to discuss....OMG..I doubt THAT is ever gonna happen...

The weekend is upon us and I have a splitting headache.  Have had it for 3 days.  It has a name but I dont want to say it here..LOL.... With regard to rehab, we have to sort so many things out that we know we deal with on a monthly basis but doing it for someone else is tough.  Its very very tough making decisions for a friend and just hoping and praying you are making the right decision.  Do I feel guilty about having her put away...YES. Should I feel guilty..probably NO.  I think she knows she was heading where she is now, at least this way it was taken out of her hands so in a way less embarrassing I suppose. I dunno... I just know that I dont feel so good... It had to be done however so then I know I did the right thing. I think this constant wrestling match I am having with myself in my head is causing all this headache.

So, I am going to a party on sat... A welcome back to SA party for Yvette and then on Sunday I am going to a farewell braai for Rob, my camel man.  A good bye handsome come back to SA soon party.  Gees all these comings and goings, imagine if wind pollination made a person pregnant....holy shit.....RUN EVERYONE RUN RUN RUN!!

Before I forget, I saw Trevor Westman and Aran van Niekerk (my son) on Supersport 2 on TV last night racing superbikes.  Was awesome and scary at the same time.  I only watch from the clubhouse balcony cos thats easy access to Vodka and to only see the back straight...... Having seen the races on TV,  I just wanna say these kids have balls of steel man... real balls of steel.. And now I know I can justify standing on the balcony.  I scream and scream and loose my voice when Aran races. I know he cant hear me but he sure as shit can see I am cheering em on......
.
Oh shit and Nicks thats Arans lil brother is racing his last race this season.  I am so hoping he is going to kick arse on Saturday.  GO Nicks go, its yours, its in the bag take it son!!!!  And show em who the champ is my love.  You can do it Nicks,... You can do it...

Oh gosh all this bike talk and I have not even mentioned my diet...WTF is that....and the most important thing...My nails.  One broke, real bad, short short break and so I got so angry and bit the rest off.  I now have no flippen nails... grrrrrrrrr  Short hair, short nails. bugger the diet..... whats happening to me, am I becoming a manic depressive...Oh hell no... I will put on stilettos and move forward.  You will see, its always nice to see Barbie all dressed up...LOL

Have a good weekend people and see ya all on Monday  xoxo

Debbie does ...: Impending Grannyhood

Debbie does ...: Impending Grannyhood: Oh my word, my lil Princess Poncho is so far pregnant and I think she is about to have her kittens. She woke me up in the middle of the nig...

Impending Grannyhood

Oh my word, my lil Princess Poncho is so far pregnant and I think she is about to have her kittens.  She woke me up in the middle of the night just to hold her.  To tell you that I shat myself is an understatement cos I am no vet.  Anyway, I think the daddy cat (hereinafter referred to as Ryk Neetling of cats, cos he is one hot cat), should take his responsibility more seriously than just sitting outside the window serenading my lil Poncho.  I know he is love cos he has moved into my garden, dug up the flowers and made it his spot.  He watches that garden so ferociously that poor Ciska cant even go outside to wee cos he moers her.  However Poncho reigns supreme in Ryks eyes cos she can go wherever she wants.  She is dissing him badly at the moment and I feel really bad for him cos he is the baby kittens daddy.  (Well at least I hope so).  I wonder if he is going to do the parental thing well and support Poncho and the kittens?  You know, like pay maintenance.  Thank heavens they dont do nappies and crap like that.

After my lil Poncho woke me up I realised then that when she has her kittens she intends for the granny (thats me) to be there and assist.  I dont know how this is going to work unless I have a barf bucket... As for her thinking she is having it on the luxury of my bed. .......she has some bad news coming her way.  I know I should have sympathy but bugger that man... its MY bed.!!!  Not utelized to its full potential I can assure you, but nonetheless still MINE.....

I wonder if I can trace Ryks family and find out if they are gonna pay labola.  Hell I am all up for my cat to get married I tell ya.  Poncho is a small cat, not a kitten a cat, but I wish you could get minature cats like you do dogs.  Like a chihuahua but in cat terminology.  We can then name the breed a catten...Hmmm thats a bit lame but I will be thinking about it....

For now though, before I become a gran, I just need to do some work... Arg this old age I tell ya.  Oh.... and about the diet....forgetabootit..... thats down the toilet......so, anyone know anyone that knows anyone that can do some lapband on me....

Arseholes and airheads

Well well well....what a lesson we all got on Saturday at Killarney.  We got ears put on us properly by a man/doos whose head is so big it wont even fit up his own arse.  It would feel like giving birth to triplets no wait...quadruplets.  To tell you that we were all shocked, disappointed, and disgusted does not even cover the basis.  I have never ever in my life seen a man/doos so flagrantly display disdain for other people. That someone could care so little and display such tardy behaviour was appauling.  There is however a very happy ending to all of this.  The best thing that could have happened to him walked away from him with dignity.  He will realise sooner rather than later but its too late already.  I dont even think he realises that he shot himself in the foot, cos all the support he had, and trust me there was a lot...is gone.  Even support from Johannesburg was forthcoming.  The fact that 100% of the people I know now call him an arsehole is exactly what it is...Methinks the wheel turns rather quick in some instances.  I just hope his penis does not fall off.....

Anyhow, for the rest of it.  Dont even let me get going on another idiot.  I think I should just learn to shutup about him  I mean really.  What is wrong with the men of today.  Creepy fuckers, hitting on young girls, old girls, women without teeth, whatever... Is it just so that you dont suffer from penis envy from the guy standing next to you.  What the hell is wrong with you people.  Guys trying to slip out with someone and think no one noticed.  Hmmm yes dear...we did.

Watching Aran race is absolutely amazing.  I can honestly say that was the best thing all day as it normally is when he races.  He did really well considering its his first National race. They boykie came 6th not to shabby I say.  I can truly tell you all that I am really a very very proud parent.  And I have every right to be.

A whore/ho/hooker, then gets drunk beyond belief, and well, acts like a hooker (what can I say) and hits someone in the ladies.  And that AFTER she had  a right go at someone outside on the balcony.  She then attacks another individual who has more class in her little finger than the ho has in her used vagina or her whole body for that matter.  She had to be removed from the club house...YAY I mean we had people from all over SA coming to race and we have the random hooker showing who she is....pffffft.......I think someone needs to tell her that when she is drunk she should not speak so loud in the ladies as well.... all her conversations are heard.... sloppy dear, very very sloppy.... Now go and wash the vagina and learn to play nice with people....