My giggles

Am I happy its weekend!!! Hell yes.  Tonight its Jeanettes birthday party and she opted to have a potjie at my house.  I love parties at my house cos everyone cooks or braais here and serves me while doing it.  It is the most fantastic venue I have been too.  I dont have to tip them, I just have to be me ok well maybe NOT just me, maybe a bit of Naughty Natalie.  I gotta put that bitch down soon, she is the reason I am NOT losing weight.  She drinks too much.  

On Saturday we are having a fondue at Allies house, with Adam and Kathy and some others.  Ooooh I love it when Charlie looks after his angels  (Charlie = Adam)....NOT that he actually looks after us per say.. we just get drunk!!! Well we get inebriated ok does that sound better... I know I am gonna be hanging on Sunday.  Its gonna be bad!!! Real bad.

Now I need to tell you all about my niece Chantelles daughter.  This is a lil American girl that is now living here in SA with her mama and papa, and she has picked up the SA accent..  This kid is so bloody funny.  She was in my bedroom staring into the mirror when she said to the mirror  "I look fat" she then proceeds to tell the mirror that the mirror is fat too.  Then she puts her hands on her hips, shakes her head and says to the mirror "Sweet Baby Jesus what are we going to do?"  This kid just turned 4.  That I never wet myself or fell off the bed laughing is unbelievable. Not long after that, a couple of weeks later, she gets out of the bath and keeps looking over her shoulders.  Both sides and very perturbed.  Her mother asked her what the problem was, and she asked her mom "When I was born mommy did I come with batteries?"  She was looking where her batteries went...BWHAHAHAHAHA... This week however she was once again priceless.  On the way to her school (day care ok geez) they drove past the Catholic church.  The church had just put a new cross up with Jesus on it.  As they drove past  she grabbed her dads shoulder and shouted  "Oh my God,  daddy daddy I just saw Jeeeesus"  full on American Southern twang!!! She did not stop her diatribe shouting "daddy daddy look there is Jeesus, I cant believe I just saw Jeesus'  I am sorry that I spell Jesus like that but that's the way this kid was hollering. Her father said he nearly had an accident at first cos she grabbed him so hard but then he could not stop laughing.  When she came to my house later that day, I asked her what Jesus looked like, and she stood with her arms out, her head down and her one foot over the other.  How flippen funny is this kid.  

Anyhoo, I just had to speak about Jesus cos for a 4 year old to be so happy and shocked and verbose about seeing Jesus was a priceless moment.

Now to rest for a bit to get my battery up and running so that I can PARTAY this weekend.  

See ya'll soon peeps... Keep the bright side up and keep on smiling

Toodles for now

Debbie does ...: What an experience

Debbie does ...: What an experience: Now now let me tell you...what a lot of fun I had.  We did the Come Dine with Me South Africa.  5 days of drinking.... what can I say.. It w...

What an experience

Now now let me tell you...what a lot of fun I had.  We did the Come Dine with Me South Africa.  5 days of drinking.... what can I say.. It wasn't vodka going down the gullet like it normally does when Aran races.  Noooo sireee this is the wine shit man... Wine, is known to give a really shitty hangover.  Serious headache and all the rest as well.

I absolutely loved Tamryn.  I know the child is getting a lot of flack for being herself.  She is not as dof as she appears to be, but then if people realize it was all alcohol related... aah well...then maybe they can see her for what she really was.  An absolute gem.  Listen, she was beyond wasted..... and well.... so were we.  I just thought it was all too bloody funny for words, so ya......If they had showed other footage about some of the other diners on Tamryns night then I doubt very much that she would have gotten all the backlash.  Oh boy, we were all badly behaved.. some just way more than others!!!! How does one edit a show like that.  I mean it was cooky and when I think of some of the stuff that was said and done that was not aired, I wanna wet myself ok.  I know that Hebrew said we were all acting.  HUH  its a reality show, oh but wait... my friends cant believe how well behaved I was... Gotta love it that they know one can get outa hand.  I think if they made a programme called "How too lose weight unsuccessfully" I would be the perfect candidate for that.

My teacher at school once told me that I had decorum.  Yeah now I know she meant it!!!!! I am capable of being a lady and a tramp, hahahaha...

Well as for the rest.... I cannot express how quick it all went. How much fun we had doing it, and how really pissed we all were....

Moving on to Zumba, (and ANOTHER quest to lose weight)  bloody hell, I was so hung over on Tuesday, that 2 litres of Lemon Twist and a small creme sober could not make me feel well enough to go to Zumba.  I woulda pulled a muscle or fallen off my eBike thats for bloody sure.  Speaking of...... I nearly wiped out a pedestrian mama walking on the side walk as I came zooting past.  I have no damn eye and foot co-ordination when it comes to the bike.  Please remember I am a big mama too so all you see from the rear is arse and a wheel.... Now the problem with the eBike is it goes faster than a damn bicycle so when I fall I am going to fall really really hard and in my chops... Anyway I got a moerse bruise on my calf (which coincidentally is so big I can kickstart a jumbojet in the middle of Alaska dead centre of winter). Not so fussed about the bruise anymore but still concerned that I need to get my riding skills better.  Shit a brick at this rate, I am gonna be blue and black from hurting myself on this thing.  My stopping leaves a lot to be desired still.  I am up and at it daily.

For now though, I am on my eBike to go home and get into the pool on this hot spring day.

Toodles ya'll.

Cor Blimey - Itching like a bitch

Goodness me, I discovered recently that I suffer from blood pressure.  Not a biggie as it was not THAT high but it was high enough to warrant taking pills.  The bain of my life as I am one very forgetful tart.  I am not able to take pills daily.  Shit a brick.  Anyways, I have started itching badly!!!!.  OMG you have to see this to believe it.  I thought I had bedbugs then I thought it was mosquitos and then I thought it was a spider, all kinds of scenarios went through my head.  I then opted to call the pharmacist.  Bless him the girls still owe him a blowjob for a favour he had done for me... (so what if I sell my friends pffffft)  It transpires that I have a helllova allergic reaction to the pill.  Ya, maybe I should just go off it and stay on Xanax  (aaah the love of my life I tell ya).. Kidding my God!!! Its not THAT bad, I only take it when I am tense.... I get tense frequently cos I dont get laid enough.  I have the gorgeous frenchie but I need to make a call you know....

Damn damn damn, Aran could not race this past weekend as the gearbox on his bike was broken.  That was dreadful as Aran is a force to be reconned with on the track.  No for real!!! I dont just say that cos he is my son, I say that not as a mother but as the mouth piece of plenty!!! I am always proud of him and I frequently get tears in my eyes when I hear when people wax lyrics about him  *sigh*... My little boy is growing up.  Bugger the fact that he is 6 foot something..pfffffft... We had a good chat last night but of course the Rattex Queen was in her room watching her telly (oh and she says she is deaf) and while we were having a conversation she would agree with Aran.  Selective hearing or what??? Its rife in my family.. She is the poster child for it.  In fact, you can be outside or in the lounge and whisper "coffee" and she will holler YES  I WANT!!!!.  So much for deafness

Bless my Rattex Queen for making Toya put tins of food in my room!!  So organised she is that when I started laughing at the latest situation she realiszd her folly (or not) but went along with it and allowed Toya to put the tins back in the cupboard anyway,

OMG, the Spar round the corner from my house was selling four cousins wine (the 1,5l) for a whopping R39-00 .  hahahahahaha OF COURSE I had to lighten the load of the store that day I mean DUH it goes without saying.  We had a braai and well, the wine was just going.  Had hayfever a couple of times, played 30 seconds in our way like the pro I am and then went to bed.  No Naughty Natalie.  I think I was too pissed.  However, I was not hanging as bad as Channy and Sam.  Channy also passed out but Sam still went on a hunting spree.

Thats it for now I guess.  Wanna go and find out what the hell is going on with my arms and ears.  Mind you its only my left ear and as the expression goes... *hoe linker hoe flinker* it means someone is saying nice things about me.. For that I thank you.. hehehehehe... no its just a bloody allergy  my luck.

Catch ya all on the flipside soon.

Toodles for now

Debbie does ...: What a mission!!!

Debbie does ...: What a mission!!!: Good heavens.... I could not blog even if I tried for shits and giggles..  Damn that was horrible.  Google would not allow me to.  No no no ...

What a mission!!!

Good heavens.... I could not blog even if I tried for shits and giggles..  Damn that was horrible.  Google would not allow me to.  No no no its not cos it banned me or anything like that, it just would not happen.  What a mission cos I sure as shit missed blogging.

So, I had the most amazing week a couple of weeks ago, and not only that but I met some amazing people, oh and throw in a prick but ya, across the board, the people that I spent time with were awesome and some real friendships will develop out of it..  My actions though could cause embarrassment but baaaah, who hasnt had one of those.  It was embarrassing to say the least.  I sometimes can be rather sanctimonious.  Ooooh piss off we all have faults you know.... The only other thing I can say is that I probably threw my name away but arg you know, you can always go back and collect it...well sometimes you can!!!!!.But then again, we always imagine how things are going to turn out but then it never does.

I was so pissed off this last weekend at the Nationals.  Bless my cotton picking socks I tell ya.  I even came home semi-sober... YES!!!! You read right... SEMI SOBER!!! I was drinking in the afternoon and then I slowed down rapidly after a kak situation.  Anyway, I do believe in Karma and karma is going kick some arse.  Specially the dooses arse that stole my money out of my wallet.  No worries though, I dont stress over that cos I know if you do something wrong it comes back to you seven fold.  Go get em Karma!!!!

Aran had bike problems at the Nationals and so when it was qualifying time he had to start at the back of the grid.  On lap 1 he had moved up to 7th position and on lap 2, the bikes gearbox or clutch or something went.  All things happen for a reason....

Now about Zumba.  Doing Zumba is fucken awesome.  Its fun, sometimes... It even feels like bad sex on some days it hurts!!!.....Anyway, I never realized I had muscles in some of those places.  Shit man, I could hardly walk for about 2 days the 1st time I did it... It is actually getting better though.  Although I do miss class every once in a while, I would love to be motivated to go all the time but you know.... when a pork calls me, I bloody well eat it.... I am doing Zumba to get fit and to get my blood pressure back to normal.  When I see Bobby Skinstad on TV my blood pressure rises, so now one day when I meet him, I gotta be all slim and sexy not big and sexy (which is what I am right now ok!!!)  Ai man, I could ride him Sea Biscuit that one...

Oh the life, the life I tell you

Good day people.  The more I think about it, the more I realize that I have a bloody interesting life.  I was looking through some of my Facebook friends.  Yea buddy.... Its been quite an eye opener I tell you.  Firstly, when I was part owner of a strip club, I was the managing member and therefore at the club all the time.  In that time, I had many many offers for people to come and have swinger parties there.  I always refused as I really felt it was not really what we were about.  However, I did meet loads of the swingers and thought they were really nice people..  Anyhow,  they became Facebook friends to keep up with what was happening in the club etc.  After a while their friends became my friends and so the network grew.  Its been fascinating meeting some of these people on Facebook.... (I must add that I have not met em all in real life but do know P L E N T Y of em)....I think they have the funniest names ever and if you compare it to RuPauls drag race, I think the swingers win hands down with names game.

For example... us big chicks have ..... well lets just say VW bonnets ok.... so it stands to reason, that calling ourselves something like *cute bumz*  would be funny and sarcastic.  I have seen names like Priscilla Limbs, Cassie Longlegs and Fay Feathers,  then you get the Stoutgat Adoons and Volksie Bonnet... see see... how the hell does the Volksie bonnet fit in with the sexy names....  I think I should get myself a porn name.... but hell man my imagination just doesn't run that far, it gets kinda tired half way around the kitchen counter.. Anyway my point is... I want a sexy name as well dammit...

And since watching Rupauls drag race I have not seen a drag show for many many years.  Went with Rose who is one of the craziest women I have ever known, which made it all the more hysterical.  One of the drag artists walked me to the car, with his arm around me, and truth be told, he looked like a female and I felt like I was butch.. I am not at all I am a straight female but I didn't feel feminine next to the drag queen.  You have got to love em.... If anyone knows where in Cape Town I will be there like a bear with no hair I tell ya.

Oooh and as for the super bike races... Oh my word, Aran won the first race... I need to point out that he was racing on a 5 year old bike... YES 5 years old and whipping arse..  Thats my boy...

Now pissed off cos a nail just broke.... Must be cos of my quick hard strokes on the keyboard.  Oh damn.

Well have a great week ahead and I wish you all get a very nice and pleasant surprise during the course of the week.

Toodles for now people.