Damn the butterflies, damn the bees, damn the whole lot of jelly happening in my stomach. I have no flippen idea what is wrong with me except that all I can do is giggle and well....giggle.
I am so in lust that I cant see the wood from the trees. Thankfully he is totally oblivious to it, or else I would not be able to face him. You know those little school girl crushes you get..Oh my God, I am totally crushing on someone!!!!
He finally asked for my bbm pin.. whoop whoop!!! and so communication began. Lets just say, I giggled shall we. I tried to sound reasonable but alas, I dont think it went that well. On Saturday night he decided to come and party with the rest of the family and the new extended family and then some.... He asked me if he could bring some party people .... I said sure of course, and then he drops the bomb.... its women. what could I say.... sorry for you Mr, I want to ride you like Sea Biscuit and have jealousy issues? Pfffft NOT gonna happen. So I allow all of this to go down, whilst plotting a protest in my head and trying to be sexy at the same time. I mean Marilyn Monroe was out to play!!!!
The problems arose soon after..... I just wanna put it in a nutshell for you so that my humiliation is very short lived today. We all went out to go and dance. He (lets rename him Blue Steel) was chatting to his friends, and while he was doing that I was sashaying across the dance floor and pulling moves to get his attention but oh boy that shit was not being noticed at all.. Anyhow, while I was busting some moves, he was chatting away totally oblivious to me. I then went to sit down and finally he wanted to speak to me... OMG blush smile pretend all is normal, etc etc.he gets me down on the couch next to him, now I am all thumbs and toes and giggles... as he pulled me down to sit with him and talk to him, the blonde (this girl was busier than a tick on a cats back!!!!) came rushing over and knocked a drink over, its spilt all over the floor (I went into sulk mode as it was pretty obvious she had intentions bigger than mine and did not want him anywhere near me or anyone else for that matter... I then got up to go and dance and slipped in the wet spot and went down looking busier than a one armed man in a fist fight!!!!! Thankfully someone else went down with me, but eish, this was right infront of Blue Steel. He doesnt see me busting moves but he sure as shit sees me with my arse firmly parked on the ground!!! Let me just tell you all that my whole arse is black and purple and pretty damn sore How cruel is life.... I am now trying to un lust myself....perhaps pursue knitting.. I think this will work to my advantage as I cant humiliate myself that way...
Enough I say, its race weekend again... so I shall partake in the vodka spirit of things and have a hangover on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday aaaarg. I suffer for a whole damn week but oh well, when the boy races the nerves are shot.
This is all about lifes little journeys. Good and Bad, even happy and sad.
Tuesday, 3 September 2013
Thursday, 20 June 2013
It really did not taste good!!!
I know its been ages. I like my little sporadic breaks from blogging. Its like a build up and then every once in a while I think, *oh my gosh lemmie just write again*. This is one of those moments when I should be utterly embarrassed and NOT write about it.... but alas... tis me, and I keep losing my embarrassment button.
First it was Blades birthday out in Durbanville. Thankfully Shane made the theme for his party green and purple for Barney.. Awesome stuff, and of course, you get green fizzers. Those that taste like cream soda aka green ambulance aka cream soba..... Well, being me, and loving fizzers, I stole some from the kiddies table. I had to ok, she never put any on the adults table. I threw them in my bag as we left and was really a happy person for having had some in my bag. Yes yes I KNOW its wrong to steal but it was fizz bars ok.. She did say I could take a couple (probably meant 2) but I got 4. Greedy right... so getting home was good, I didnt go into a sweet coma cos I didnt have enough and I always leave one in my bag for *those days* you know, hangover etc....
This weekend that just passed, was Payttons birthday, so I tell Channy to buy fizzers, Channy buys the pink ones of course and they are the bigger ones. On Sunday we had Payttons 2nd party at our place and well, you know, as with anything party, drinks come out...and boy was I LOVING the bloody mary's and then I changed over to the red wine.... Yaaa the cousins... you know... 4 cousins natural sweet red. OMG, I got wasted, I eventually ran off to bed. Now here comes the thing. The next day, Channy came to clean the house and everyone left and I was left alone, hanging like a bitch, thanks to the four cousins wine aaaarg.... while laying on my bed feeling sorry for myself, I remembered that I had a green fizzer in my bag. No problem for me, I stuck my hand in, felt around, KINDA peeped in the bag and saw one. Was I happy... I was laying with my eyes closed, (sore head thanks to too much wine) and opened the fizzer and stuck it in my mouth. Here is where it gets tricky. Once it was in my mouth, it felt plastic, and I was rather confused. I took it out and to my utter utter disbelief, it was a tampon from Canada. Now, I KNOW you wont understand how I can mistake a tampon and a fizzer but bloody hell, those from Canada are NOT like ours. It comes in a green flimsy wrapping *check*, the applicator is green *check* as for the rest... dont even ask ok, am I ashamed that I tried to suck on a tampon, uhm YES....but in my defence....I thought it was a fizzer. Am I ever going to blindly feel in my bag and think its something else that I am grabbing, probably, will I stick it in my mouth next time...NO,....I have learnt my lesson. Haiawatha must keep her tampons to herself and NOT confuse me....
Today I am happy cos I am no longer hanging and I saw a green fizzer in my bag and ATE IT....
Have an awesome time ya'll and for insparation I quote Cavett Robert "Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed."
First it was Blades birthday out in Durbanville. Thankfully Shane made the theme for his party green and purple for Barney.. Awesome stuff, and of course, you get green fizzers. Those that taste like cream soda aka green ambulance aka cream soba..... Well, being me, and loving fizzers, I stole some from the kiddies table. I had to ok, she never put any on the adults table. I threw them in my bag as we left and was really a happy person for having had some in my bag. Yes yes I KNOW its wrong to steal but it was fizz bars ok.. She did say I could take a couple (probably meant 2) but I got 4. Greedy right... so getting home was good, I didnt go into a sweet coma cos I didnt have enough and I always leave one in my bag for *those days* you know, hangover etc....
This weekend that just passed, was Payttons birthday, so I tell Channy to buy fizzers, Channy buys the pink ones of course and they are the bigger ones. On Sunday we had Payttons 2nd party at our place and well, you know, as with anything party, drinks come out...and boy was I LOVING the bloody mary's and then I changed over to the red wine.... Yaaa the cousins... you know... 4 cousins natural sweet red. OMG, I got wasted, I eventually ran off to bed. Now here comes the thing. The next day, Channy came to clean the house and everyone left and I was left alone, hanging like a bitch, thanks to the four cousins wine aaaarg.... while laying on my bed feeling sorry for myself, I remembered that I had a green fizzer in my bag. No problem for me, I stuck my hand in, felt around, KINDA peeped in the bag and saw one. Was I happy... I was laying with my eyes closed, (sore head thanks to too much wine) and opened the fizzer and stuck it in my mouth. Here is where it gets tricky. Once it was in my mouth, it felt plastic, and I was rather confused. I took it out and to my utter utter disbelief, it was a tampon from Canada. Now, I KNOW you wont understand how I can mistake a tampon and a fizzer but bloody hell, those from Canada are NOT like ours. It comes in a green flimsy wrapping *check*, the applicator is green *check* as for the rest... dont even ask ok, am I ashamed that I tried to suck on a tampon, uhm YES....but in my defence....I thought it was a fizzer. Am I ever going to blindly feel in my bag and think its something else that I am grabbing, probably, will I stick it in my mouth next time...NO,....I have learnt my lesson. Haiawatha must keep her tampons to herself and NOT confuse me....
Today I am happy cos I am no longer hanging and I saw a green fizzer in my bag and ATE IT....
Have an awesome time ya'll and for insparation I quote Cavett Robert "Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed."
Toodles you noodles... have a good one. xoxo
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
My Failed Divorce!!!
Wow, it really has been a while. I decided to write about my divorce.... NOT from a man.... but from something worse than a husband.... its......its.....from my excess weight for heavens sake.
I actually asked my weight to leave my body on numerous occasions. I first spoke to it, (mild diet as in drops and herbal crap and pills), then I begged it ( now getting onto the diet mixture that kicks like a mule and makes your hair stand on end), and finally I was shouting at it,( here we talking the heavy artillery as in Tobasco sauce and anything that hot and spicy). And then of course lets not forget those health freaks and fanatics that insist they can help. I mean, for real, I even tried to punish THIS BODACIOUS Body of mine by putting it through strenuous paces, (by strenuous I mean anything from 5 sit ups to kegals to zumba, but to no avail. I have finally come to the conclusion that this divorce of the fat ain't gonna happen. My fat has decided it loves me too much, (and we all want to be loved right), but for shit sake, just leave me alone already!!!!.
After all the diets, (and I do not think there is ANY diet that I have NOT tried), I have now finally decided that I cant fight this battle and have come to surrender to the will of the fat. It has not beaten me... HELL NO!!! NOT by a long shot, its just kinda made me realize that the more I try and shake it off, or depart from it, the more the excess weight clings to me. (I now clearly understand why men or women dont like clingy partners)
Listen, I have tried the heat pads, I have tried those damn shocker things. Yes, shocking as it may seem, that i was prepared to SHOCK myself thin, I even had one of those shaker machines with the belt, NOT the new ones they have now, (its like 80's wobbler I had, with the belt that goes over the arse and you lean into it), a proper one that made you itch your arse off, except that the arse would not go either, it would itch, but it would not go...
Since the tummy tuck many moons ago, all I bare from that is a scar, however, not all is lost in that department, as I can still see my vagina!!! Oh hell yes, its still in view, but then again that could possibly also be cos its fat, like a volkswagen bonnet. Who knows, for now I shall just fool myself and believe that I am some 50 shades thinner than I was the other day.. Its not really a case of fooling oneself. Its more like, when I drink I believe I am a skinny bitch!!! and when I dream I am always thin in my dreams.... ERGO, I am thin... in a thick way obviously!!!...
Oh well, if anyone knows of any other way of getting slim, do get in touch. I will probably laugh at you (no not with you) and say thanks cos my fat will fight you for what its worth and its taken me years to get here so yes, it gonna fight you tooth and nail.
Its incredible to have this kind of love in your life, even though its your own love, but ya, who are we to disagree with what our body is telling us. Mine is totally telling me it loves me and RE-FE-USES to leave. So this is definitely a marriage until *death us do part* or of course there is some new wonder drug, or drug lord or something that can help. In the meantime I shall just merrily suck on my Xanax, it makes life so much better and so much lighter... in the head!!!!!
Toodles you noodles been nice writing again!!!
I actually asked my weight to leave my body on numerous occasions. I first spoke to it, (mild diet as in drops and herbal crap and pills), then I begged it ( now getting onto the diet mixture that kicks like a mule and makes your hair stand on end), and finally I was shouting at it,( here we talking the heavy artillery as in Tobasco sauce and anything that hot and spicy). And then of course lets not forget those health freaks and fanatics that insist they can help. I mean, for real, I even tried to punish THIS BODACIOUS Body of mine by putting it through strenuous paces, (by strenuous I mean anything from 5 sit ups to kegals to zumba, but to no avail. I have finally come to the conclusion that this divorce of the fat ain't gonna happen. My fat has decided it loves me too much, (and we all want to be loved right), but for shit sake, just leave me alone already!!!!.
After all the diets, (and I do not think there is ANY diet that I have NOT tried), I have now finally decided that I cant fight this battle and have come to surrender to the will of the fat. It has not beaten me... HELL NO!!! NOT by a long shot, its just kinda made me realize that the more I try and shake it off, or depart from it, the more the excess weight clings to me. (I now clearly understand why men or women dont like clingy partners)
Listen, I have tried the heat pads, I have tried those damn shocker things. Yes, shocking as it may seem, that i was prepared to SHOCK myself thin, I even had one of those shaker machines with the belt, NOT the new ones they have now, (its like 80's wobbler I had, with the belt that goes over the arse and you lean into it), a proper one that made you itch your arse off, except that the arse would not go either, it would itch, but it would not go...
Since the tummy tuck many moons ago, all I bare from that is a scar, however, not all is lost in that department, as I can still see my vagina!!! Oh hell yes, its still in view, but then again that could possibly also be cos its fat, like a volkswagen bonnet. Who knows, for now I shall just fool myself and believe that I am some 50 shades thinner than I was the other day.. Its not really a case of fooling oneself. Its more like, when I drink I believe I am a skinny bitch!!! and when I dream I am always thin in my dreams.... ERGO, I am thin... in a thick way obviously!!!...
Oh well, if anyone knows of any other way of getting slim, do get in touch. I will probably laugh at you (no not with you) and say thanks cos my fat will fight you for what its worth and its taken me years to get here so yes, it gonna fight you tooth and nail.
Its incredible to have this kind of love in your life, even though its your own love, but ya, who are we to disagree with what our body is telling us. Mine is totally telling me it loves me and RE-FE-USES to leave. So this is definitely a marriage until *death us do part* or of course there is some new wonder drug, or drug lord or something that can help. In the meantime I shall just merrily suck on my Xanax, it makes life so much better and so much lighter... in the head!!!!!
Toodles you noodles been nice writing again!!!
Monday, 25 March 2013
Cant wait
I have been itching to blog for a very very long time, but due to the head space I was in, did not think it was such a great idea as some people really really pissed me off. Its very difficult to forgive someone. Very damn difficult. Anyway, I have decided that sticks and stones may break my bones and your wonderful words did hurt, does still hurt, however, I will forgive but I wont forget. Notwithstanding bullies.... THOSE I do not even want to know and do not acknowledge. All in all, I have come to the conclusion that I cannot and will not allow other people and their nastiness to turn me into an angry nasty person. Remember this..... treat people as you want to be treated....
It was Nationals at Killarney 2 Saturdays ago. OMG what a rush we had. Aran rode like a superstar I tell ya and I was mighty proud of him. Vodka (as usual) was the order of the day...Megan and I decided that we were going to get a designated driver, and that we were going to let our hair down. This we did!!! This we did with major aplomb! My lil Sasha was there too. We never saw much of her during the day, bless her, but we certainly saw her that night. There was no band playing, (strange but true) but that did not stop anyone. We all went hell for leather with whatever we were drinking and it was giving us dutch courage to dance like dooses and still think we were doing a great job. Lang arm never felt so good to modern tunes.... What the hell???
And what exciting conversations were heard in the toilets. Oh boy, ladies are so funny. I do believe a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts, and for some reason, the toilets are to drunk girls like a confessional booth in the Catholic Church is to nuns!!! It all just.... comes out..... hahahaha......
Then of course there was Ashlees' 21st. What a stunner that girl has become. She is like the Lauren Conrad of SA I tell ya. It was a surprise party for her, and Adam aka Charlie and Kathy aka One of the Angels did a formidable job with Rae whoever, (he is Romano to me) and of course his sister and family. I liked the porra family they are so cute. I thought I shocked the socks off them the last time we met but alas, the mum cool as a cucumber, was up for a good laugh telling Mark (you KNOW who you are) that he was gonna get laid. Oh boy the poor hubby was a bit embarrassed there. Ole Adam and Kath and I were still chatting and drinking at 3.30 in the morning and all the youngsters were in bed already. I mean what the hell!!!!! When are these kids gonna learn!!!
On Friday it was Channy and Granny Martches birthdays as well. Auds flew down as a surprise for Channy and it was really really great to see her. We actually spent a lot of time in good ole emotional conversation that was necessary on both sides. Lets just say its been emotional!!! LOL... It was nice seeing some of the people there again. Specially Granny Martch.... That ole duck just keeps on going. Unlike the Rattex Queen who has been rattexless for a long time now. I better up my game!!!!!!!.
Toodles for now people....This was short but sweet I think. Did not want to write more in case I get pissed off as I write...LOL.... So short and sweet it shall be!!!!
It was Nationals at Killarney 2 Saturdays ago. OMG what a rush we had. Aran rode like a superstar I tell ya and I was mighty proud of him. Vodka (as usual) was the order of the day...Megan and I decided that we were going to get a designated driver, and that we were going to let our hair down. This we did!!! This we did with major aplomb! My lil Sasha was there too. We never saw much of her during the day, bless her, but we certainly saw her that night. There was no band playing, (strange but true) but that did not stop anyone. We all went hell for leather with whatever we were drinking and it was giving us dutch courage to dance like dooses and still think we were doing a great job. Lang arm never felt so good to modern tunes.... What the hell???
And what exciting conversations were heard in the toilets. Oh boy, ladies are so funny. I do believe a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts, and for some reason, the toilets are to drunk girls like a confessional booth in the Catholic Church is to nuns!!! It all just.... comes out..... hahahaha......
Then of course there was Ashlees' 21st. What a stunner that girl has become. She is like the Lauren Conrad of SA I tell ya. It was a surprise party for her, and Adam aka Charlie and Kathy aka One of the Angels did a formidable job with Rae whoever, (he is Romano to me) and of course his sister and family. I liked the porra family they are so cute. I thought I shocked the socks off them the last time we met but alas, the mum cool as a cucumber, was up for a good laugh telling Mark (you KNOW who you are) that he was gonna get laid. Oh boy the poor hubby was a bit embarrassed there. Ole Adam and Kath and I were still chatting and drinking at 3.30 in the morning and all the youngsters were in bed already. I mean what the hell!!!!! When are these kids gonna learn!!!
On Friday it was Channy and Granny Martches birthdays as well. Auds flew down as a surprise for Channy and it was really really great to see her. We actually spent a lot of time in good ole emotional conversation that was necessary on both sides. Lets just say its been emotional!!! LOL... It was nice seeing some of the people there again. Specially Granny Martch.... That ole duck just keeps on going. Unlike the Rattex Queen who has been rattexless for a long time now. I better up my game!!!!!!!.
Toodles for now people....This was short but sweet I think. Did not want to write more in case I get pissed off as I write...LOL.... So short and sweet it shall be!!!!
Friday, 7 December 2012
Nearly MY Christmas lunch
Hip hip hooray. So glad its weekend. I do not plan to drink too much as I have a full schedule. On Sat its the 8 hour endurance race at Killarney and of course Aran and Nicks are gonna ride... I mean really but its not as stressful as when they race superbikes. I do believe that they fall flippen harder on these little mosquito sounding machines that the big ones. Last year Andrew, Aran, Janine and one other all broke their collar bones. Now I ask you.. one race day, tsk tsk... and that was JUST the collar bones... Trust me there are way more damages than that....
Anyway, its less vodka as I am going to Anja and (Franco) Oh my God this man is hot!!!!!! Anja just walks past and wipes the drool off my mouth when I am with her husband. (Well not quite WITH her hubby but in close proximity like at a party). So Kathy and Adam and Alison and myself have all been invited to their house for sushi.. All I can say is double yum as I get eye candy and mouth candy. And you know Adam is also a good looking geriatric. I think he is doing all these fitness things cos his wife has read 50 Shades. I think he is trying to sleep with the dogs cos she is tiring him out!!!! He is a good looking dude but sometimes he moans at his 3 angels (that would be Ali, Kathy and myself) He never has reason but that he is a man... Oh well dont worry Charlie.. I aint drinking too much on Sat night as Sunday is coming...
Now Sunday is a very very special day for me. My mother the Jabberwock is serving Christmas lunch THIS Sunday.. Yep on the 9th of December we are having Christmas. I dont quite think she actually believes believes the Mayans, but she is convinced something is gonna happen... She feels its better to be prepared. You know these geriatrics, as they get older they KNOW things... Oh hell and do they know. Do not ever argue with them. If its about a celebration, ALWAYS ALWAYS agree. The possibility is great that their timespan is wrong and therefore they would have to redo the party. I know this, that is why I have kept it under wraps about the 21st. She believed it was the 12th. But you know someone who was not up for so many parties ruined it for me and told her the truth. So now I shall only have 2 Christmas parties and not 3.Oh well, as long as I have my Christmas lunch and am prepared in a hot outfit its all good!!!
Ok gonna dash for now, but will write about the weekend after it happened. Lets hope that the girls follow instructions on how to make punch properly cos I think Channy and Sam were actually out to give us food poisoning this last weekend. As for the party that I had that I was not at. (Thanks to Channy and Sam for OBVIOUS reasons). it seems hardly anyone was there cos uhm no one really remembers. (There were loads of people though) Seems everyone has memory loss and having them come over and fill me in during the week all I can say is DAMN..... it musta been a good punch and party.. If I tell you what happened in the bathroom while I was not there your EYEBALLS would blush it was so bad.!!!!
Ok toodles for now hooligans...see ya all soon
Debbie
Excited for the weekend cos its C H R I S T M A S LUNCH!!!!
Anyway, its less vodka as I am going to Anja and (Franco) Oh my God this man is hot!!!!!! Anja just walks past and wipes the drool off my mouth when I am with her husband. (Well not quite WITH her hubby but in close proximity like at a party). So Kathy and Adam and Alison and myself have all been invited to their house for sushi.. All I can say is double yum as I get eye candy and mouth candy. And you know Adam is also a good looking geriatric. I think he is doing all these fitness things cos his wife has read 50 Shades. I think he is trying to sleep with the dogs cos she is tiring him out!!!! He is a good looking dude but sometimes he moans at his 3 angels (that would be Ali, Kathy and myself) He never has reason but that he is a man... Oh well dont worry Charlie.. I aint drinking too much on Sat night as Sunday is coming...
Now Sunday is a very very special day for me. My mother the Jabberwock is serving Christmas lunch THIS Sunday.. Yep on the 9th of December we are having Christmas. I dont quite think she actually believes believes the Mayans, but she is convinced something is gonna happen... She feels its better to be prepared. You know these geriatrics, as they get older they KNOW things... Oh hell and do they know. Do not ever argue with them. If its about a celebration, ALWAYS ALWAYS agree. The possibility is great that their timespan is wrong and therefore they would have to redo the party. I know this, that is why I have kept it under wraps about the 21st. She believed it was the 12th. But you know someone who was not up for so many parties ruined it for me and told her the truth. So now I shall only have 2 Christmas parties and not 3.Oh well, as long as I have my Christmas lunch and am prepared in a hot outfit its all good!!!
Ok gonna dash for now, but will write about the weekend after it happened. Lets hope that the girls follow instructions on how to make punch properly cos I think Channy and Sam were actually out to give us food poisoning this last weekend. As for the party that I had that I was not at. (Thanks to Channy and Sam for OBVIOUS reasons). it seems hardly anyone was there cos uhm no one really remembers. (There were loads of people though) Seems everyone has memory loss and having them come over and fill me in during the week all I can say is DAMN..... it musta been a good punch and party.. If I tell you what happened in the bathroom while I was not there your EYEBALLS would blush it was so bad.!!!!
Ok toodles for now hooligans...see ya all soon
Debbie
Excited for the weekend cos its C H R I S T M A S LUNCH!!!!
Monday, 3 December 2012
Getting beaten by a body of water
IT was hot this weekend in Cape Town. Oh my word. Aran was not racing again (his bike was not fixed) which was sad, seeing as it was the last race of the season. So we should be thankful that the weather was so nice and we could have a braai..
I suggested that Channy and Sam make us a punch... I like the punch idea. Stefan really makes his well so I thought to do a bit of a twist to it. I was in the pool giving instructions on how to and what to. Mind you, the water in the pool was tepid... it was devine...so there I was a floater since 1-00pm in the water, mouthing off on how to and what to. Anyway the braai was in lieu of Haiawathas birthday. Yeah my real life red indian from Canada turned 30 and there was no way on Gods Green earth we were going to let it pass by unnoticed. I was enjoying the being the ring leader in the pool, barking orders (its what I do best in my democratic world). I know I got my first cold vodka and flavoured water at 2.00pm. And so the day started, I did not move my arse out the pool, no matter what happened, I was quite capable of hollering instructions. (I need to teach Zuma how to take control cos for ffs him and his bunch of merry thieves are going to shoot themselves in the foot soon thank Heavens) Ooops sorry about that, talking about Zuma and Malema really get me going in another direction.
Ok so the party was in full swing, there were really loads of people... I cannot and will not tell you how many cos I know there were loads, and yes, I was vodka'd up. They had not even started the fire by 6-00pm and bless their socks, how could they know I would not be moving from the pool....
I attempted to get out at about 7ish and knocked my shoulder and my ear. Do not even ask cos there is no way I am able to embelish or explain this phenomena to anyone...It was freaky. Even more freaky, my mother the Rattex Queen (oh dont worry I stopped with the rattex ages ago and now call her jabberwokky cos bloody hell this duck just does not stop talking). Its all good though but she interrupts a conversation to have her say which has nothing to do with what anyone else is saying... ok so, she was floating in the pool being taken care of by Paypay (small little american hillbilly who is irresistable) when she (Jabberwock) decided to get out the pool.... No alcohol for her in the pool as we keep her afloat ok so she had no alcohol in her system. As she got out, I dont know what happened but she slipped on her arse.... The old bats arse is now black and its a moerse bruise. I think if she wanted to she could have a race fight with herself. just saying......!!! I suspect she hurt her cosex (shit dont even know how to spell it... but you know what I mean hopefully).... now she is in bed and relaxing as she cant walk, her arse hurts. Now I have heard it all.
Anyway, so here I sit with my cabbage ear and battered shoulder and her with a ruined cosex (whatever) so we are definitely not in a happy house right now. And the fact that I went to bed really really early, I do not even know who was all at the house or the party, so please, if you were there, drop me a line and tell me how great the party was, cos I have no cooking clue. .....
Toodles for now...!!!!! Hope you all have a great week...
I suggested that Channy and Sam make us a punch... I like the punch idea. Stefan really makes his well so I thought to do a bit of a twist to it. I was in the pool giving instructions on how to and what to. Mind you, the water in the pool was tepid... it was devine...so there I was a floater since 1-00pm in the water, mouthing off on how to and what to. Anyway the braai was in lieu of Haiawathas birthday. Yeah my real life red indian from Canada turned 30 and there was no way on Gods Green earth we were going to let it pass by unnoticed. I was enjoying the being the ring leader in the pool, barking orders (its what I do best in my democratic world). I know I got my first cold vodka and flavoured water at 2.00pm. And so the day started, I did not move my arse out the pool, no matter what happened, I was quite capable of hollering instructions. (I need to teach Zuma how to take control cos for ffs him and his bunch of merry thieves are going to shoot themselves in the foot soon thank Heavens) Ooops sorry about that, talking about Zuma and Malema really get me going in another direction.
Ok so the party was in full swing, there were really loads of people... I cannot and will not tell you how many cos I know there were loads, and yes, I was vodka'd up. They had not even started the fire by 6-00pm and bless their socks, how could they know I would not be moving from the pool....
I attempted to get out at about 7ish and knocked my shoulder and my ear. Do not even ask cos there is no way I am able to embelish or explain this phenomena to anyone...It was freaky. Even more freaky, my mother the Rattex Queen (oh dont worry I stopped with the rattex ages ago and now call her jabberwokky cos bloody hell this duck just does not stop talking). Its all good though but she interrupts a conversation to have her say which has nothing to do with what anyone else is saying... ok so, she was floating in the pool being taken care of by Paypay (small little american hillbilly who is irresistable) when she (Jabberwock) decided to get out the pool.... No alcohol for her in the pool as we keep her afloat ok so she had no alcohol in her system. As she got out, I dont know what happened but she slipped on her arse.... The old bats arse is now black and its a moerse bruise. I think if she wanted to she could have a race fight with herself. just saying......!!! I suspect she hurt her cosex (shit dont even know how to spell it... but you know what I mean hopefully).... now she is in bed and relaxing as she cant walk, her arse hurts. Now I have heard it all.
Anyway, so here I sit with my cabbage ear and battered shoulder and her with a ruined cosex (whatever) so we are definitely not in a happy house right now. And the fact that I went to bed really really early, I do not even know who was all at the house or the party, so please, if you were there, drop me a line and tell me how great the party was, cos I have no cooking clue. .....
Toodles for now...!!!!! Hope you all have a great week...
Thursday, 22 November 2012
PUNCH --- made by Stefan
Holy toledo, on Friday night, we had a potjie. Jeanette, Sam, Ryan, Rattex Queen and I. It was one of those we can it type of things. You know I am quite sure I am a voortrekker at heart not so much other places (nudge nudge) but definitely somewhere. I like a man to start a fire and get things going...Anyway, we did a bloody good job of it. The gals were drinking champagne, I had a glass but was not up for it... Naughty Natalie has been good I tell ya. Besides Liza and Haiawatha (my proper red indian from Canada) decided they were going to leave us alone to braai... bitches... but all is fair.. we got the fire going and PLEASE it was a small itsy bitsy lil smoke going and well, it burned at that rate all the time. No big flames, no big fan fare, just... small. And so it was like doing a potjie on a slow burner but hey, IT DID IT.... was good ..... tasted great I tell ya.... I think I am getting to be a conniseur of food!!! After Come Dine with Me there is no stopping this machine.... Cooking machine??nah Love machine?? mebbe dunno but hell I feel like I am a machine of sorts... a bit of a voortrekker machine but a machine nonetheless..
On Saturday we had a fabulous surprise. Christine and Stefan FINALLY got married. Ya hell, these semi geriatrics (ok not gonna stick to that cos they are my age).....decided that it was long overdue. They had a private family service and then of course it was Stefans' birthday so they had a spit braai and well, they decided that it was the best day to do nuptials....That they could fit THAT many people into their house was astounding. Stefan then showed me his punch... I am quite..... yes..... QUITE familiar with this!! Indeed, I think if SAP had to raid his house, they would think its moonshine that shit is so lethal... Having been to Stefan and Christine on numerous occassions for braais and having drank this, I knew it would be in my best interest to suck on it... very very slowly. The problem is, this punch tastes abso-bloody-lutely AMAZING. It is so drinkable and doable that you just drink it slow or not, it tantalizes the tastebuds and you cant stop yourself. Needless to say, after a few (aarg ok dammit a few too many perhaps), I could feel that there was this excitement bubbling in my brain. It was just talking nonsense... spewing out absolute shit for no reason. Of course, the recliner was left open for me (oh you gotta love my mates) So I had THE most comfortable seat in and out of the house... fabulous planning I would say. Got home and well, Haiawatha was there so I hollered for her to come and have a drink with me before I hit the sack....I love Stefan and I love his punch but for the love of Mary, I dont like the next day feeling so hangover....Thanks Stefan!!!!
Ok so here is the thing, I have been trying to communicate with Santa or with his elves (as you know I know people that know people that know his elves) about my behavior. I have been putting out hahahah KIDDING putting word out that I have been good at being good, good at being bad etc etc, just basically good at everything so I deserved a good good gift.
My list doesnt seem unreasonable in light of the fact that I cant do THAT much Zumba even though I love it cos I realize there are other ways to lose weight and of course all the other shit that follows.
So ... IF ANYONE knows anyone that knows a plastic surgeon, I swear, I will have the most awesome Christmas. Speaking of....... Rattex Queen is still full steam ahead for Christmas party on 9 December. So not stopping her...Why the hell would anyone want to anyway... ONLY AFTER, that will I explain the dates are incorrect.. Here is to having a flippen awesome Christmas.
....
On Saturday we had a fabulous surprise. Christine and Stefan FINALLY got married. Ya hell, these semi geriatrics (ok not gonna stick to that cos they are my age).....decided that it was long overdue. They had a private family service and then of course it was Stefans' birthday so they had a spit braai and well, they decided that it was the best day to do nuptials....That they could fit THAT many people into their house was astounding. Stefan then showed me his punch... I am quite..... yes..... QUITE familiar with this!! Indeed, I think if SAP had to raid his house, they would think its moonshine that shit is so lethal... Having been to Stefan and Christine on numerous occassions for braais and having drank this, I knew it would be in my best interest to suck on it... very very slowly. The problem is, this punch tastes abso-bloody-lutely AMAZING. It is so drinkable and doable that you just drink it slow or not, it tantalizes the tastebuds and you cant stop yourself. Needless to say, after a few (aarg ok dammit a few too many perhaps), I could feel that there was this excitement bubbling in my brain. It was just talking nonsense... spewing out absolute shit for no reason. Of course, the recliner was left open for me (oh you gotta love my mates) So I had THE most comfortable seat in and out of the house... fabulous planning I would say. Got home and well, Haiawatha was there so I hollered for her to come and have a drink with me before I hit the sack....I love Stefan and I love his punch but for the love of Mary, I dont like the next day feeling so hangover....Thanks Stefan!!!!
Ok so here is the thing, I have been trying to communicate with Santa or with his elves (as you know I know people that know people that know his elves) about my behavior. I have been putting out hahahah KIDDING putting word out that I have been good at being good, good at being bad etc etc, just basically good at everything so I deserved a good good gift.
My list doesnt seem unreasonable in light of the fact that I cant do THAT much Zumba even though I love it cos I realize there are other ways to lose weight and of course all the other shit that follows.
So ... IF ANYONE knows anyone that knows a plastic surgeon, I swear, I will have the most awesome Christmas. Speaking of....... Rattex Queen is still full steam ahead for Christmas party on 9 December. So not stopping her...Why the hell would anyone want to anyway... ONLY AFTER, that will I explain the dates are incorrect.. Here is to having a flippen awesome Christmas.
....
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