Wednesday, 15 April 2015

My Robber Stopper!!!

I just want to say, living in South Africa today, is a sport.  Yep, you have to be able to run fast, or freeze on the spot. The amount of robberies and killings and raping happening is staggering.  And here we are sitting ducks...but ducks we don't always have to be.  We do not have to be locked up in our homes, to feel safe,  cos its our homes they are after too.  The content and whatever the hell they can get their hands on is all up for grabs.  They just want want want...but the only WANT they don't want is to want to work!!

Anyway, after all of that, about 3 weeks ago, in the wee hours of the morning I heard a very loud thud.. LOUD. I thought perhaps it was a tremor, it was not a sound I was familiar with. I got up and went to check the front door and all was well.  My car was still there, so it was all good.  I went back to bed not knowing that if I had looked out of my window, I would probably have laughed the whole neighbourhood awake and taken pictures. I went back to sleep not thinking much cos it all looked good.

I woke up in the morning, and opened my curtains............and there it was....proof , absolute proof that some miscreant wanted to do some affirmative action shopping in my house.  Who else jumps over your wall in the dead of the night like a criminal, but a criminal??? And this is where I was shocked.  He jumped over my wall and landed on my cactus plant!!! He fell down so hard, that he actually broke the pot that the cactus plant was in.  Now I ask you with tears in my eyes, how the hell did he not scream??? I have a cactus with very long thorns!!!  Justice I tell you, justice.  I am keeping my eyes open for some bloke walking around holding his arse, cos if he does not get it seen too, those thorn pricks will get septic...shame ... NOT  tsk tsk..

EPIC FAIL for him.... Now I am getting cacti all around my parameter wall, and will await the next visitor....

Friday, 10 April 2015

Bird Feeder..Impressive read

Haven't heard it put this way before, but it's a great analogy.
I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back patio and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it is as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the shit... it was everywhere: on the patio tiles, the chairs, the table... everywhere ....
Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.  And other birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit in my own back garden anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ...  quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let's see..... our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.  Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands.   Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English. 

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than our flag are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.