Friday, 7 December 2012

Nearly MY Christmas lunch

Hip hip hooray.  So glad its weekend.  I do not plan to drink too much as I have a full schedule.  On Sat its the 8 hour endurance race at Killarney and of course Aran and Nicks are gonna ride... I mean really but its not as stressful as when they race superbikes.  I do believe that they fall flippen harder on these little mosquito sounding machines that the big ones.  Last year Andrew, Aran, Janine and one other all broke their collar bones.  Now I ask you.. one race day,  tsk tsk... and that was JUST the collar bones...  Trust me there are way more damages than that....

Anyway, its less vodka as I am going to Anja and (Franco)  Oh my God this man is hot!!!!!!  Anja just walks past and wipes the drool off my mouth when I am with her husband. (Well not quite WITH her hubby but in close proximity like at a party).   So Kathy and Adam and Alison and myself  have all been invited to their house for sushi.. All I can say is double yum as I get eye candy and mouth candy.  And you know Adam is also a good looking geriatric. I think he is doing all these fitness things cos his wife has read 50 Shades.  I think he is trying to sleep with the dogs cos she is tiring him out!!!! He is a good looking dude but sometimes he moans at his 3 angels  (that would be Ali, Kathy and myself) He never has reason but that he is a man... Oh well dont worry Charlie.. I aint drinking too much on Sat night as Sunday is coming...

Now Sunday is a very very special day for me.  My mother the Jabberwock is serving Christmas lunch THIS Sunday.. Yep on the 9th of December we are having Christmas.  I dont quite think she actually believes believes the Mayans, but she is convinced something is gonna happen... She feels its better to be prepared.  You know these geriatrics, as they get older they KNOW things... Oh hell and do they know.  Do not ever argue with them.  If its about a celebration, ALWAYS ALWAYS agree.  The possibility is great that their timespan is wrong and therefore they  would have to redo the party.  I know this, that is why I have kept it under wraps about the 21st.  She believed it was the 12th.  But you know someone who was not up for so many parties ruined it for me and told her the truth.  So now I shall only have 2 Christmas parties and not 3.Oh well, as long as I have my Christmas lunch and am prepared in a hot outfit its all good!!!

Ok gonna dash for now, but will write about the weekend after it happened.  Lets hope that the girls follow instructions on how to make punch properly cos I think Channy and Sam were actually out to give us food poisoning this last weekend.  As for the party that I had that I was not at. (Thanks to Channy and Sam for OBVIOUS reasons). it seems hardly anyone was there cos uhm no one really remembers.  (There were loads of people though) Seems everyone has memory loss and having them come over and fill me in during the week all I can say is DAMN..... it musta been a good punch and party.. If I tell you what happened in the bathroom while I was not there your EYEBALLS would blush it was so bad.!!!!

Ok toodles for now hooligans...see ya all soon
Excited for the weekend cos its C H R I S T M A S  LUNCH!!!!  

Monday, 3 December 2012

Getting beaten by a body of water

IT was hot this weekend in Cape Town.  Oh my word.  Aran was not racing again (his bike was not fixed) which was sad, seeing as it was the last race of the season. So we should be thankful that the weather was so nice and we could have a braai..

I suggested that Channy and Sam make us a punch... I like the punch idea. Stefan really makes his well so I thought to do a bit of a twist to it.  I was in the pool giving instructions on how to and what to.  Mind you, the water in the pool was tepid... it was there I was a floater since 1-00pm in the water, mouthing off on how to and what to.  Anyway the braai was in lieu of Haiawathas birthday.  Yeah my real life red indian from Canada turned 30 and there was no way on Gods Green earth we were going to let it pass by unnoticed.  I was enjoying the being the ring leader in the pool, barking orders (its what I do best in my democratic world).  I know I got my first cold vodka and flavoured water at 2.00pm.  And so the day started, I did not move my arse out the pool, no matter what happened, I was quite capable of hollering instructions.  (I need to teach Zuma how to take control cos for ffs him and his bunch of merry thieves are going to shoot themselves in the foot soon thank Heavens)  Ooops sorry about that, talking about Zuma and Malema really get me going in another direction.

Ok so the party was in full swing, there were really loads of people... I cannot and will not tell you how many cos I know there were loads,  and yes, I was vodka'd up.  They had not even started the fire by 6-00pm and bless their socks, how could they know I would not be moving from the pool....

I attempted to get out at about 7ish and knocked my shoulder and my ear.  Do not even ask cos there is no way I am able to embelish or explain this phenomena to anyone...It was freaky.  Even more freaky, my mother the Rattex Queen (oh dont worry I stopped with the rattex ages ago and now call her jabberwokky cos bloody hell this duck just does not stop talking). Its all good though but she interrupts a conversation to have her say which has nothing to do with what anyone else is saying... ok so, she was floating in the pool being taken care of by Paypay (small little american hillbilly who is irresistable) when she (Jabberwock) decided to get out the pool.... No alcohol for her in the pool as we keep her afloat ok so she had no alcohol in her system. As she got out, I dont know what happened but she slipped on her arse.... The old bats arse is now black and its a moerse bruise.  I think if she wanted to she could have a race fight with herself.  just saying......!!!  I suspect she hurt her cosex (shit dont even know how to spell it... but you know what I mean hopefully).... now she is in bed and relaxing as she cant walk, her arse hurts.  Now I have heard it all.

Anyway, so here I sit with my cabbage ear and battered shoulder and her with a ruined cosex (whatever) so we are definitely not in a happy house right now.  And the fact that I went to bed really really early, I do not even know who was all at the house or the party, so please, if you were there, drop me a line and tell me how great the party was, cos I have no cooking clue. .....

Toodles for now...!!!!! Hope you all have a great week...