Getting beaten by a body of water

IT was hot this weekend in Cape Town.  Oh my word.  Aran was not racing again (his bike was not fixed) which was sad, seeing as it was the last race of the season. So we should be thankful that the weather was so nice and we could have a braai..

I suggested that Channy and Sam make us a punch... I like the punch idea. Stefan really makes his well so I thought to do a bit of a twist to it.  I was in the pool giving instructions on how to and what to.  Mind you, the water in the pool was tepid... it was devine...so there I was a floater since 1-00pm in the water, mouthing off on how to and what to.  Anyway the braai was in lieu of Haiawathas birthday.  Yeah my real life red indian from Canada turned 30 and there was no way on Gods Green earth we were going to let it pass by unnoticed.  I was enjoying the being the ring leader in the pool, barking orders (its what I do best in my democratic world).  I know I got my first cold vodka and flavoured water at 2.00pm.  And so the day started, I did not move my arse out the pool, no matter what happened, I was quite capable of hollering instructions.  (I need to teach Zuma how to take control cos for ffs him and his bunch of merry thieves are going to shoot themselves in the foot soon thank Heavens)  Ooops sorry about that, talking about Zuma and Malema really get me going in another direction.

Ok so the party was in full swing, there were really loads of people... I cannot and will not tell you how many cos I know there were loads,  and yes, I was vodka'd up.  They had not even started the fire by 6-00pm and bless their socks, how could they know I would not be moving from the pool....

I attempted to get out at about 7ish and knocked my shoulder and my ear.  Do not even ask cos there is no way I am able to embelish or explain this phenomena to anyone...It was freaky.  Even more freaky, my mother the Rattex Queen (oh dont worry I stopped with the rattex ages ago and now call her jabberwokky cos bloody hell this duck just does not stop talking). Its all good though but she interrupts a conversation to have her say which has nothing to do with what anyone else is saying... ok so, she was floating in the pool being taken care of by Paypay (small little american hillbilly who is irresistable) when she (Jabberwock) decided to get out the pool.... No alcohol for her in the pool as we keep her afloat ok so she had no alcohol in her system. As she got out, I dont know what happened but she slipped on her arse.... The old bats arse is now black and its a moerse bruise.  I think if she wanted to she could have a race fight with herself.  just saying......!!!  I suspect she hurt her cosex (shit dont even know how to spell it... but you know what I mean hopefully).... now she is in bed and relaxing as she cant walk, her arse hurts.  Now I have heard it all.

Anyway, so here I sit with my cabbage ear and battered shoulder and her with a ruined cosex (whatever) so we are definitely not in a happy house right now.  And the fact that I went to bed really really early, I do not even know who was all at the house or the party, so please, if you were there, drop me a line and tell me how great the party was, cos I have no cooking clue. .....

Toodles for now...!!!!! Hope you all have a great week...