Tuesday 18 November 2014

What the hell??? I NEVER knew

HOLY SHIT..... no for real..... all this time, years, and years, laxatives later, detoxing, juicing, dieting... any diet... name one you can name a 100, those are all the diets I have been on... Fuckit.... and the answer was right here... in a itsy bitsy little packet that costs 1-00 at the local shop.  

So many years have passed, and I remained over weight.  Even doing exercise and getting a personal trainer, I am overweight.... ok so i am muscling up big time, but then, I do know that cos I gotta lotta wobbles going on my body and while I excercise like a demon I am turning the wobble into muscle.. Well not like that but that the muscle grows and pushes the fat out the way.  I just gotta wait to wobble less... Aaaannyhooo, I am digressing from my point.......

Last night the Rattex Queen told me to have a teaspoon of Epson Salt.  No lies, that shit tastes bad man... horrible.  She said it would do my skin the world of good.  I mean, at 71 she should have knowledge right.... And then Sasha told me last week her mum had used it as well... So, who am I to disagree... I tried the epson salts.  I had a teaspoon last night, and then I had a teaspoon this morning.  Now I am NOT 100% sure if you need to do this twice a day or only once.  Me, I did it twice cos thats who I am.. I always overdo everything.. More is always better in my eyes... 

This morning, I get to work, Andrew is sitting at my desk. I loved it as I enjoy chatting to him and catching up etc, but for fucksakes, when you have 2 teaspons of epson salts in your body, its not good timing.  I have never prayed to hard for Andrew to leave the office.  I swear, I could shit through the eye of a needle... Its wonderful writing this blog, knowing I am sitting on the loo and getting thinner by the minute.  Perhaps I have overdone it.. who knows, but hells bells, its gotta be good..  I think perhaps I did overdo, but aaaah well, will make right tomorrow.. (who knew, who bloody knew it was that simple)......  

For now, the toilet is my friend...... and i LOVE IT!!!

Toodles noddles.

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