Baby Jeeps and Big Cockroaches

Holy smokes, I recon we need to move to a place where one doesnt get these flippen huge cockroaches.  I think what happened is some JHB random or better known as a *burger*  brought one of their park town prawns on holiday without realising it, and this thing got horny and shagged our little roaches we used to have in CT.  Or else its someone from Durban that brought one of their goggas here. Either way Johannesburg or Durban, someone brought some horny large pestilence from their hometown  I jest not. These cockroaches FLY my friend... they fly ooohhh how they fly.  I am scared of the damn thing man.  Bianca was screaming like a bitch not so long ago cos this thing flew into my room like a bat outa hell.... If I did not duck it would have flown into me.  Then I started screaming.  Its got no control over its flying skills.  Or else it does it on purpose.  It doesnt just stop dammit. and judging by the size, given a couple of years these things are gonna start eating us man. Right now though they are aiming to keep us under control.....

Last night, after we put the light out, Sasha and I fell asleep and you know when you lay on your arm it gets pins and needles.  I had what I THOUGHT was pins and needles.  HOWEVER I could NOT understand why I had pins and needles on the top of my hand only.  I moved my hand to turn on the bedside light and well... the pins and needles left my hand.  When the light went on there was this huge mother of  roach right there.  Well now,  that we did not scream was a miracle.  I threw the pillow, and of course the roach was happy cos it didnt have to fly.  The thing probably thought it was on Zim Airways or something.  I jumped out of bed and killed it... It splatters alot ok...A LOT!!!....It is difficult to fall asleep after such a traumatic experience.  I am surprised that I did not grab the Xanax....

Then Shelley arrives this morning and she tells us that she had a dream that her Jeep had shrunk.  She was pretty upset cos it shrunk to the size of those cars that kids ride.  What pissed her off the most was that the lights were so damn low.  I dont know why its a problem for her though, cos she is pretty damn short and that would be abour the right size vehicle for her to drive.  I dunno I think being short is now affecting her mind.

Talking about minds.  wait for this.  The Rattex Queen aka G-ran aka Mom etc etc, tried to call her friend Naziek yesterday.  Sasha was sitting watching her.  She picks up and dials Nazieks number, puts the instrument to her ear, waits and then pronounces to Sasha that the phone is dead again.  Once she looked at the *phone* she realised it was actually the remote control for the TV.  Aaaah at least she laughs with us when we laugh.  Sasha was rolling on the floor she was laughing so damn much.  G-ran I recon must have been a close second.

Shit.....I gotta do the VAT...

Oh help me ...

Just dropped in to say.... THERE IS NO WAY on Gods green earth I am going to be able to blog today due to a hangover.  Eeeeuw its horrible.  

Do I or dont I

Uhm hello after a couple of 3year old brandys I DOUBT whether I should send a drunk blog.... so excuse the errors ok.  I am going backwards and forwards to correct it but soon my eyes will go small and well, then its gonna be bad.  I have just come home from a braai at Bones house to say goodbye to Rob the camel man.  Unfortunately Bones started gving me brandy and well....the rest is history.   Think about this shit...I had a friend put in rehab due to alcohol and here I am doing what people do when there is a braai going and the booze is flowing..  Weak I know but ..... I have an excuse (dont we all acutally)... wait let me light a ciggy (another STERLING HABIT) before I resume.  Right, ciggy lit here we go.

NO DRAMA and it was weekend.  What is happening people..... Kidding...Hnag on ....gonna get an ashtray....Oh and change channels for a friend parking off in the lounge....It has NOT been drama free at all.  You see, I get calls and sms from various people with regard to a hectic situation.  There are a couple of us involved in all of this with regard to sorting out problems for a very close friend.  You then get obnoxious people that have mean and nasty things to say with regard to that person and well it actually pisses us all off.  If you have nothing to say that you have no facts about then dont open your weak mouth cos people in glass houses should not throw stones.  My advice to all....if you say something to say have someone to back you up on what you are saying or shut the fuck up....or wear a pink flower in your hair cos it makes you look hot....

Oh I had my hair lobbed off....real short due to bleach and a bad hairdresser.  OMG I think I look like a man but apparently not... however, I think they say that cos they are pretty scared that I have not taken my Xanax and will go off and moer them or something....who knows....

Well as a pissed individual, I dont know how I am gonna feel reading this blog tomorrow.  I might even answer myself and say what the hell...doubt it....

Sasha or Trevor better make me that coffee now...or else........ love ya all and sleep welll

Pussy galore

Oh my word, my lil Princess Poncho and 3 beautiful kittens....and YES YES YES the Ryk Neethling of cats is the kittens daddy.. Gotta say I am absolutely pleased beyond belief because of that.  At least now I know they will be gorgeous cats.  So now, with Ciska, Ponco, Ryk Neethling (although he is only hanging around outside) and the 3 cute lil kittens I have a full house.  I need to take time out to negotiate with Ryk about his paternal duties and of course find out whether he will be supporting his offspring.  You know, even in the animal world we have problems with the men.  I think women should change..... I think we should all (women that is) carry a club, if you see a nice man, lob him over the head with it, drag the bastard home, and well, use him proper.  Make sure he goes to work and supports the family, and when he comes home he must be ready to have a conversation with you about what YOU want to discuss....OMG..I doubt THAT is ever gonna happen...

The weekend is upon us and I have a splitting headache.  Have had it for 3 days.  It has a name but I dont want to say it here..LOL.... With regard to rehab, we have to sort so many things out that we know we deal with on a monthly basis but doing it for someone else is tough.  Its very very tough making decisions for a friend and just hoping and praying you are making the right decision.  Do I feel guilty about having her put away...YES. Should I feel guilty..probably NO.  I think she knows she was heading where she is now, at least this way it was taken out of her hands so in a way less embarrassing I suppose. I dunno... I just know that I dont feel so good... It had to be done however so then I know I did the right thing. I think this constant wrestling match I am having with myself in my head is causing all this headache.

So, I am going to a party on sat... A welcome back to SA party for Yvette and then on Sunday I am going to a farewell braai for Rob, my camel man.  A good bye handsome come back to SA soon party.  Gees all these comings and goings, imagine if wind pollination made a person pregnant....holy shit.....RUN EVERYONE RUN RUN RUN!!

Before I forget, I saw Trevor Westman and Aran van Niekerk (my son) on Supersport 2 on TV last night racing superbikes.  Was awesome and scary at the same time.  I only watch from the clubhouse balcony cos thats easy access to Vodka and to only see the back straight...... Having seen the races on TV,  I just wanna say these kids have balls of steel man... real balls of steel.. And now I know I can justify standing on the balcony.  I scream and scream and loose my voice when Aran races. I know he cant hear me but he sure as shit can see I am cheering em on......
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Oh shit and Nicks thats Arans lil brother is racing his last race this season.  I am so hoping he is going to kick arse on Saturday.  GO Nicks go, its yours, its in the bag take it son!!!!  And show em who the champ is my love.  You can do it Nicks,... You can do it...

Oh gosh all this bike talk and I have not even mentioned my diet...WTF is that....and the most important thing...My nails.  One broke, real bad, short short break and so I got so angry and bit the rest off.  I now have no flippen nails... grrrrrrrrr  Short hair, short nails. bugger the diet..... whats happening to me, am I becoming a manic depressive...Oh hell no... I will put on stilettos and move forward.  You will see, its always nice to see Barbie all dressed up...LOL

Have a good weekend people and see ya all on Monday  xoxo

Debbie does ...: Impending Grannyhood

Debbie does ...: Impending Grannyhood: Oh my word, my lil Princess Poncho is so far pregnant and I think she is about to have her kittens. She woke me up in the middle of the nig...

Impending Grannyhood

Oh my word, my lil Princess Poncho is so far pregnant and I think she is about to have her kittens.  She woke me up in the middle of the night just to hold her.  To tell you that I shat myself is an understatement cos I am no vet.  Anyway, I think the daddy cat (hereinafter referred to as Ryk Neetling of cats, cos he is one hot cat), should take his responsibility more seriously than just sitting outside the window serenading my lil Poncho.  I know he is love cos he has moved into my garden, dug up the flowers and made it his spot.  He watches that garden so ferociously that poor Ciska cant even go outside to wee cos he moers her.  However Poncho reigns supreme in Ryks eyes cos she can go wherever she wants.  She is dissing him badly at the moment and I feel really bad for him cos he is the baby kittens daddy.  (Well at least I hope so).  I wonder if he is going to do the parental thing well and support Poncho and the kittens?  You know, like pay maintenance.  Thank heavens they dont do nappies and crap like that.

After my lil Poncho woke me up I realised then that when she has her kittens she intends for the granny (thats me) to be there and assist.  I dont know how this is going to work unless I have a barf bucket... As for her thinking she is having it on the luxury of my bed. .......she has some bad news coming her way.  I know I should have sympathy but bugger that man... its MY bed.!!!  Not utelized to its full potential I can assure you, but nonetheless still MINE.....

I wonder if I can trace Ryks family and find out if they are gonna pay labola.  Hell I am all up for my cat to get married I tell ya.  Poncho is a small cat, not a kitten a cat, but I wish you could get minature cats like you do dogs.  Like a chihuahua but in cat terminology.  We can then name the breed a catten...Hmmm thats a bit lame but I will be thinking about it....

For now though, before I become a gran, I just need to do some work... Arg this old age I tell ya.  Oh.... and about the diet....forgetabootit..... thats down the toilet......so, anyone know anyone that knows anyone that can do some lapband on me....

Arseholes and airheads

Well well well....what a lesson we all got on Saturday at Killarney.  We got ears put on us properly by a man/doos whose head is so big it wont even fit up his own arse.  It would feel like giving birth to triplets no wait...quadruplets.  To tell you that we were all shocked, disappointed, and disgusted does not even cover the basis.  I have never ever in my life seen a man/doos so flagrantly display disdain for other people. That someone could care so little and display such tardy behaviour was appauling.  There is however a very happy ending to all of this.  The best thing that could have happened to him walked away from him with dignity.  He will realise sooner rather than later but its too late already.  I dont even think he realises that he shot himself in the foot, cos all the support he had, and trust me there was a lot...is gone.  Even support from Johannesburg was forthcoming.  The fact that 100% of the people I know now call him an arsehole is exactly what it is...Methinks the wheel turns rather quick in some instances.  I just hope his penis does not fall off.....

Anyhow, for the rest of it.  Dont even let me get going on another idiot.  I think I should just learn to shutup about him  I mean really.  What is wrong with the men of today.  Creepy fuckers, hitting on young girls, old girls, women without teeth, whatever... Is it just so that you dont suffer from penis envy from the guy standing next to you.  What the hell is wrong with you people.  Guys trying to slip out with someone and think no one noticed.  Hmmm yes dear...we did.

Watching Aran race is absolutely amazing.  I can honestly say that was the best thing all day as it normally is when he races.  He did really well considering its his first National race. They boykie came 6th not to shabby I say.  I can truly tell you all that I am really a very very proud parent.  And I have every right to be.

A whore/ho/hooker, then gets drunk beyond belief, and well, acts like a hooker (what can I say) and hits someone in the ladies.  And that AFTER she had  a right go at someone outside on the balcony.  She then attacks another individual who has more class in her little finger than the ho has in her used vagina or her whole body for that matter.  She had to be removed from the club house...YAY I mean we had people from all over SA coming to race and we have the random hooker showing who she is....pffffft.......I think someone needs to tell her that when she is drunk she should not speak so loud in the ladies as well.... all her conversations are heard.... sloppy dear, very very sloppy.... Now go and wash the vagina and learn to play nice with people....