Baby Jeeps and Big Cockroaches

Holy smokes, I recon we need to move to a place where one doesnt get these flippen huge cockroaches.  I think what happened is some JHB random or better known as a *burger*  brought one of their park town prawns on holiday without realising it, and this thing got horny and shagged our little roaches we used to have in CT.  Or else its someone from Durban that brought one of their goggas here. Either way Johannesburg or Durban, someone brought some horny large pestilence from their hometown  I jest not. These cockroaches FLY my friend... they fly ooohhh how they fly.  I am scared of the damn thing man.  Bianca was screaming like a bitch not so long ago cos this thing flew into my room like a bat outa hell.... If I did not duck it would have flown into me.  Then I started screaming.  Its got no control over its flying skills.  Or else it does it on purpose.  It doesnt just stop dammit. and judging by the size, given a couple of years these things are gonna start eating us man. Right now though they are aiming to keep us under control.....

Last night, after we put the light out, Sasha and I fell asleep and you know when you lay on your arm it gets pins and needles.  I had what I THOUGHT was pins and needles.  HOWEVER I could NOT understand why I had pins and needles on the top of my hand only.  I moved my hand to turn on the bedside light and well... the pins and needles left my hand.  When the light went on there was this huge mother of  roach right there.  Well now,  that we did not scream was a miracle.  I threw the pillow, and of course the roach was happy cos it didnt have to fly.  The thing probably thought it was on Zim Airways or something.  I jumped out of bed and killed it... It splatters alot ok...A LOT!!!....It is difficult to fall asleep after such a traumatic experience.  I am surprised that I did not grab the Xanax....

Then Shelley arrives this morning and she tells us that she had a dream that her Jeep had shrunk.  She was pretty upset cos it shrunk to the size of those cars that kids ride.  What pissed her off the most was that the lights were so damn low.  I dont know why its a problem for her though, cos she is pretty damn short and that would be abour the right size vehicle for her to drive.  I dunno I think being short is now affecting her mind.

Talking about minds.  wait for this.  The Rattex Queen aka G-ran aka Mom etc etc, tried to call her friend Naziek yesterday.  Sasha was sitting watching her.  She picks up and dials Nazieks number, puts the instrument to her ear, waits and then pronounces to Sasha that the phone is dead again.  Once she looked at the *phone* she realised it was actually the remote control for the TV.  Aaaah at least she laughs with us when we laugh.  Sasha was rolling on the floor she was laughing so damn much.  G-ran I recon must have been a close second.

Shit.....I gotta do the VAT...