My Robber Stopper!!!

I just want to say, living in South Africa today, is a sport.  Yep, you have to be able to run fast, or freeze on the spot. The amount of robberies and killings and raping happening is staggering.  And here we are sitting ducks...but ducks we don't always have to be.  We do not have to be locked up in our homes, to feel safe,  cos its our homes they are after too.  The content and whatever the hell they can get their hands on is all up for grabs.  They just want want want...but the only WANT they don't want is to want to work!!

Anyway, after all of that, about 3 weeks ago, in the wee hours of the morning I heard a very loud thud.. LOUD. I thought perhaps it was a tremor, it was not a sound I was familiar with. I got up and went to check the front door and all was well.  My car was still there, so it was all good.  I went back to bed not knowing that if I had looked out of my window, I would probably have laughed the whole neighbourhood awake and taken pictures. I went back to sleep not thinking much cos it all looked good.

I woke up in the morning, and opened my curtains............and there it was....proof , absolute proof that some miscreant wanted to do some affirmative action shopping in my house.  Who else jumps over your wall in the dead of the night like a criminal, but a criminal??? And this is where I was shocked.  He jumped over my wall and landed on my cactus plant!!! He fell down so hard, that he actually broke the pot that the cactus plant was in.  Now I ask you with tears in my eyes, how the hell did he not scream??? I have a cactus with very long thorns!!!  Justice I tell you, justice.  I am keeping my eyes open for some bloke walking around holding his arse, cos if he does not get it seen too, those thorn pricks will get septic...shame ... NOT  tsk tsk..

EPIC FAIL for him.... Now I am getting cacti all around my parameter wall, and will await the next visitor....

Bird Feeder..Impressive read

Haven't heard it put this way before, but it's a great analogy.

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back patio and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it is as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the shit... it was everywhere: on the patio tiles, the chairs, the table... everywhere ....

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.  And other birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit in my own back garden anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ...  quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let's see..... our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.  Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands.   Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English. 

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than our flag are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.

(1) OMG so scary to watch.......but so proud of him.... - Debbie Van Niekerk

(1) OMG so scary to watch.......but so proud of him.... - Debbie Van Niekerk:



'via Blog this'  He has so much talent..... !!!!

Aran Van Niekerk.. My son ...so proud of him

What the hell??? I NEVER knew

HOLY SHIT..... no for real..... all this time, years, and years, laxatives later, detoxing, juicing, dieting... any diet... name one you can name a 100, those are all the diets I have been on... Fuckit.... and the answer was right here... in a itsy bitsy little packet that costs 1-00 at the local shop.  

So many years have passed, and I remained over weight.  Even doing exercise and getting a personal trainer, I am overweight.... ok so i am muscling up big time, but then, I do know that cos I gotta lotta wobbles going on my body and while I excercise like a demon I am turning the wobble into muscle.. Well not like that but that the muscle grows and pushes the fat out the way.  I just gotta wait to wobble less... Aaaannyhooo, I am digressing from my point.......

Last night the Rattex Queen told me to have a teaspoon of Epson Salt.  No lies, that shit tastes bad man... horrible.  She said it would do my skin the world of good.  I mean, at 71 she should have knowledge right.... And then Sasha told me last week her mum had used it as well... So, who am I to disagree... I tried the epson salts.  I had a teaspoon last night, and then I had a teaspoon this morning.  Now I am NOT 100% sure if you need to do this twice a day or only once.  Me, I did it twice cos thats who I am.. I always overdo everything.. More is always better in my eyes... 

This morning, I get to work, Andrew is sitting at my desk. I loved it as I enjoy chatting to him and catching up etc, but for fucksakes, when you have 2 teaspons of epson salts in your body, its not good timing.  I have never prayed to hard for Andrew to leave the office.  I swear, I could shit through the eye of a needle... Its wonderful writing this blog, knowing I am sitting on the loo and getting thinner by the minute.  Perhaps I have overdone it.. who knows, but hells bells, its gotta be good..  I think perhaps I did overdo, but aaaah well, will make right tomorrow.. (who knew, who bloody knew it was that simple)......  

For now, the toilet is my friend...... and i LOVE IT!!!

Toodles noddles.

Whats a gal to do

You know, when there is fighting, and you are just there, not involved, not the middle man, just there, and things go awry, and all of a sudden, you have no office....ever had that??? I did!!! I was officeless for 3 weeks... whoooar.... that obviously gave me more tan time...for which I was grateful, however the sun wanted no part of it. The South Easter was blowing so hard, I had to wear a costume top or else my tits would have blown away... one to the left, the other.... who the hell knows, probably to right....  I constantly wanted to turn on the solar heating in the pool, but then the weather changes. Who knew what the hell was up with it.  I put my back out so bad getting on the lilo, I looked like a mix between a ho and Russian gymnast on crack doing a double flip.  I was not aware I was a contortionist.  My body told me afterwards, in a long languid bath, that we were not on the same page or even speaking the same language.  Strange that, cos I normally drink myself thin and yet I was sober trying to get on the lilo..  Anyway, I got some sun... Oh yeeee great God of sun... I lovest thee.  and now the bloody wind is blowing again and its raining sporadically so once again i cant tan this afternoon.

All that aside, I had the opportunity to have a most amazing bit of a vay cay with some people.  Life is weird eh, if it doesnt throw you a curve ball, it lines the stars up ..its always the one or the other.  In this case, I would say I have a bit of both.  I wont embellish on it much, however what I can and will say is...... when you know you have fucked up, and you accept it, then no matter who is with you on the journey, you are going to see it through to the end, and not let anyone ruin it for you.  Ever been on holiday with a *anything you can do I can do better* or *any place you have been I have been better* or even *anything you have done, i have done more*....Aaaarg save me from people like that....I met the most amazing people, 2 other couples that did the bit of the adventure with us, were so much fun to hang out with.....  So I got a bit of an attitude with the person, and then I realized its not their fault.  She cant help who she is, but I can help who I am, and my choice is, accept that I did wrong and just go with the flow, knowing that after this, I have learnt that I can actually do what I want, and not have to be the softie to accept everything.

I got Channy to take my hair out 2 days prior then I had to get Tiara in to put it back on..... and then I had the false lashes glued on... Wowzer super glue delux, i now dont have eyelashes, but you  know thats not an issue cos you just draw a dark eyeliner above your eye and whala....you can get away with it..

I have moved into the new office.   Its hollow, so someone said I must put a plant in.  Ok, but who the hell is gonna water the thing.  I dont have green fingers amongst the things that I dont have. However they do say a boer maak n plan, so lets see.  Perhaps I should go and buy myself a plant and see how long it lasts...I always give everything a try.. You never know, I might stumble upon my calling without even realizing it.

The Rattex Queen went to Durban to visit her sister for a short while..I was hoping it was gonna be three months but alas, it was only 5 weeks.  In those 5 weeks, I absolutely transformed the dining room before she got back so that she could not give me her ideas.  It looks amazingroom!!!! Everything in its place.  So now I think I am an interior decorator... Pfffft.  lets wait and see cos there is always something that can go wrong......

For now, its toodles noodles...... I just wanted to write a bit, and will be doing it sooner rather than later, as I am gonna be writing a blog for the beauty guru, a page that Tiara has set up.  Could only be fun.  I think she wants me to write on how NOT to do things....

ANC, Ses’khona to thrash out problems - Politics | IOL News | IOL.co.za

ANC, Ses’khona to thrash out problems - Politics | IOL News | IOL.co.za:



'via Blog this'