Less Vodka? Is it do able....

You know, I have been thinking.... and yes yes  I do this often...  but this is about my weight again.  I drink vodka and the more vodka I drink the thinner I get (OBVIOUSLY this shit is going on in my head).  I believe that I have the figure like Cameron Diaz .... for real.  Ask my mates who have seen me in my gold lame 2 piece doing a handstand in my pool which is so shallow, that when I stand upright its just below my tits. Now imagine doing a handstand.  This means, only my arms and head and neck and half tit is covered.  The rest is well above water..  Ok wait.. maybe a bit more is covered.  Obviously depending on the amount of vodka being drunk at the time.  Doing this in such a small pool is not as easy as it seems.  But that doesnt seem to be the only problem.  The other situation is that I am fucken drop dead gorgeous.  Ok I think I am sexy anyway but hells bells when intoxicated, I am Miss World.  And lets not talk about my voice.   I think I sound like Madonna mixed with a bit of Britney Spears.  Oh my, when intoxicated I am the person you all want to be  (in my head people in my head ok) cos I am all of the above.  So now I am thinking.... maybe I should change my drink to brandy... and drink some serious karate water..... but then, in doing that, do I really want to become Jackie Chang and Jackie Chang everyones arse that comes my way.  I say HELL NO.... rather stick to the vodka.  I dunno maybe I need to go and see someone about these illusions in my head.  Oh skrew that...I love them.  Now Saturday is race day for my Aran again.  And of course its a vodka day.  I try I really try and stay sober.  In fact, when in drunken state I speak the queens english so that my son wont pick up that I have been drinking.  Hey puppy... thats bullshit, he catches me every time....

Oh wait... if that was it, it would be cool, but I even drink the ugly fuckers pretty.  I love people I dislike.  I am a mess I tell you a soft mess.  The only thing I am not when drunk is horny, so I wont ever wake up and think OMG I should never have done that.  I need serious love the next day though ya... ya ... you  know what I mean...

Good heavens.... I am hungry... going to go and eat now and consider what to do about the drinking...... but hey I only drink on race days and party days  and nooooooooo I do not party every day... However, having said that ... tom night is hair, nails and wax night and then Saturday is drink day buuuuut... then next week Wed is a public holiday and Chantelles birthday on Thurs, so I can only imagine that we will party on Tuesday evening.

Please Lord, let me once again drink myself into utter beauty to love and honor and be good to everyone.  Let me supply the entertainment as only our beloved Naughty Natalie can.  What am I saying..... I am trying to drink less here dammit....NOT more.....

Have a good one ya'll